Choose to Quit the Rat Race

The Rat Race is real, we're all in it, we're paying a high price to participate and some of us are barely keeping up.  We have willingly given up control of our lives and I think the time has come for us to take a hard look at our choices and start taking back control.  Around 2000 I started noticing an increasing trend in the United States and it was our insatiable need to consume goods at a high rate.  At that time the housing market was just starting to take off and home prices were on the rise.  The economy was good, unemployment was low and I remember thinking "Is shopping all we have left?".  Then 9/11 happened and my focus changed and I didn't think about our need to consume quite as much.

In 2008 as the "Great Recession" was hitting us and just after Lehman Brothers collapsed I took in a movie at the Arundel Mills Mall.  The Mall was packed with folks and nearly every single one of them had a shopping bag in hand from a recent purchase.  Probably a lagging indicator of the economy and just anecdotal of course, but this was the craziest recession ever if people could still get out and shop.  That changed as the recession really took hold though and people lost jobs and homes.

In my neighborhood of around 100+ townhouses, I think I could count around 20 off the top of my head that went in to foreclosure after 2008 and stayed empty for a long time - years in some cases. There are still houses in Columbia popping up on real estate sites for auction, but the numbers are significantly down over the past eight years.  The townhouse three doors down is finally on the market after some rehab and it looks like there might be a buyer and then we'll be fully occupied again.

This need to buy, buy, buy though has not changed as we've recovered from the recession.  From clothes to cars to houses, we buy, we buy a lot and we buy big.  We also eat big.  We love delicious, tasty food and in large portions, although at least this part is starting to slowly change.  We are officially trapped in the Rat Race and  it's not just Wall Street and the banks that have us by the short hairs.  Many of us are trapped in jobs that we absolutely can't afford to lose or all we've amassed will come crashing down around us.  How has this happened and how did so many of us not learn our lesson after 2008?  How do we escape from this madness and take ownership of our lives again?

As I stated previously, we have willingly chosen to give control of our lives over to others.  Our need to eat so much and not exercise puts us under the power of the medical community and the drug companies to fix our problems and people in my generation may not live as long as our parents or even our grandparents for that matter.   We complain about the cost of our health insurance, but we are the ones choosing to live unhealthy lives. We're owned by the bank that holds our mortgage and the note on our cars.  We're owned by the credit card companies for all the things we bring in to our homes.  Our employer owns us because we are so beholden to all of these other entities that I mentioned before and we can't afford to lose our jobs.  Jobs that many of us find deeply unsatisfying.

In exchange for all our stuff we have given up the most precious thing we own and that is our time.  Time with loved ones, time outside in fresh air, time pursuing activities that bring us pleasure, all have been sacrificed to feed our addiction to stuff.   Stuff that doesn't really bring enjoyment or even value to our lives.  When was the last time you took a vacation?

Your job owns you in that most people can't afford to lose their jobs - even if only for a week - or they'll lose everything.  We're told to be grateful for the jobs we have, taking for granted the fact that we bring a valuable resource to the job every day - ourselves.  Sure, most of us are replaceable so we toe the line and keep our mouths shut and our head's down.  Are we fully engaged though in the office with so many other things on our minds - kids, parents, bills.....?  Some of us have achieved a level at work that helps us maintain a lifestyle to which we've grown accustomed and the fear of losing all that can keep us up all night stressed out.

How do we get out of this hole we've dug for ourselves?  I have recently become a fan of the minimalist movement.  I think it can mean something different to everyone depending on their own needs and desires, but at its heart it's something that I think we can all embrace to some degree.  Want to get some control of your life back?  Downsize anything and everything that you can.  Buy less stuff.  Eat less stuff.  Live in a smaller house.  Drive a smaller car.  Spend more time outside walking.

Junk everything you've worked for all at once?  Don't panic, I don't think that is the answer.  The first thing we can all do is take stock and prioritize what it is that brings us joy.  What are those things that we love and don't mind spending our limited time working hard for but at the same time making sure we have the time to enjoy? I know for me it's leisure time - whether that means making time to walk my dog each day, or finding time to sit on my deck to read a book, or go on vacation, spending time with friends.  I have a good friend who likes her 5 bedroom colonial though because she entertains family and friends a lot.  That's what brings her joy.  She and her husband are getting real value out of their home.  On the other hand, I don't care about living in a big house.  I want a small, great house that doesn't suck up all of my money because I want to spend it on vacations as I said before.

Every time we make a purchase - from food to houses we need to ask ourselves why we're buying it.  Why are you buying that car?  To impress someone?  Show someone you've made it?  Why are you living in that big house?  Why are you eating that big steak?  Who said you had to do all that?  At the end of the day, what do you want?

We should ask the same questions about why we choose to spend our time a certain way.  As I said before, we only have so much time.  Instead of sitting inside, what would happen if you took a half hour and walked around your neighborhood every day?  On Friday afternoon I shut down my laptop and grabbed my dog and headed out for a warm winter walk.  While outside I made two new friends.  I met a man walking his puppy and turns out he grew up in Columbia, same age as me and he and his wife are ultra-marathoners.  Inside the undeveloped side of Blandair I met a woman who was just exploring the park and lives in my old neighborhood.  I chatted with each of these people and it made my day.  I like making friends.  Yesterday in Blandair again ran into a woman who was running with her two dogs.  That for me was a great way to spend time - outside, moving, meeting people and icing on the cake, with my dog.  If I didn't have time for that kind of thing I think my life would be a misery

If you asked these questions, are there some things you could let go of?  Could you start buying yourself some freedom by making different choices?  What would happen to your blood pressure if you made different choices?  Would you lose a few pounds?  Would you get rid of some stress?  Could you change jobs if that's what you wanted?  Could you retire early?

Years ago a friend of mine was heading off to work each day and leaving her newborn son in daycare.  She hated it.  So she and her husband sat down and went through their finances.  With both of them working and putting their son in day care they were only ahead by $75 each month.  My friend said "I'm miserable for $75 a month!! It's not worth it!"  She quit her job and became a stay at home Mom which she loved.  Her husband got a part time job delivering pizzas on the weekends.  They didn't have as much money as they did before, but they were a whole lot happier.  It turned out if one of them lost their job they were still fine.

I have accumulated way too much stuff in my 20 years of home ownership.  Stuff I just don't need and would love to have the money back that I spent on all of it.  Today I'm going through my house and putting donation bags together for Big Brothers and Big Sisters to pick up tomorrow.  Less stuff means less to clean up around my house!!  I am not neat - I am a terrible housekeeper.  So, the less I have the better!  I'm hoping that by this time next year my house will only have those things that I want to have and don't care about picking up and cleaning.

We can take back control of our lives.  We can escape the Rat Race.  We just have to make better choices for ourselves.