Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Denial Done...Moving on to Anger

I've noticed that we Democrats are following the five stages of grief after the Great Tragedy - which is how I'll refer to the election of 2016.  We're progressing very quickly though as it's only been a week and we're already in Anger.  We were only in Denial for a brief amount of time and I'll note that it came with a a heavy dose of Depression.

We are all looking for a single thing to blame for what happened last week and as I pointed out in my previous post, I think there's a LOT going on here.  There is no one answer to this problem,  Like the Democrat party itself, it's a mixed bag.

Here's what worries me right now that just like Republicans in 2008 and 2012 who were working on being introspective and fixing things for themselves, that we Democrats are sitting in our ivory towers and deciding what we need to do without actually listening or talking to the folks who we want to vote for us.

I think a key to a strong resurgence of a party who looks out for EVERYONE, is listening and talking to folks.  That has to start at the local level.  I think it's a good time for each city, county, and state to turn inward and figure out what we need to do for our local folks.  We need to win local elections and state offices in two years.  That's grass roots.

If we know what's happening in our own states I think the next time out our national candidate is going to pay attention.  At least, that's what I'm hoping if we don't fall victim to Ivory Tower thinking.

Pay attention too when at long last the press is finally asking Trump supporters why they voted the way they did and their expectations.  They don't expect Trump to keep all his promises, and they're okay with a flawed candidate, clearly.  We, Democrats don't need to worry about being perfect.  That is the best news ever as we go forward.

Does this sound like Bargaining?  It did to me too.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Thoughts On A Gloomy Week

I have voted for the Democrat in every Presidential election since I could vote.  I am a liberal - don't tune out, try to hang here and understand.  I want to know that when I turn on the tap clean water comes out.  Since the tragedies in West Virginia and Flint, Michigan I fear a water crisis in my own location - not only that it will happen, but that if it does, no one will fix it.  I understand that significantly more people die each year from lung cancer caused by pollution than were killed in the World Trade Center on 9/11.  Clean air and clean water are vital to our future but I don't see anyone taking that seriously.  Definitely not Republicans and I'm sorry to say, not so much Democrats.  We're fracking at an alarming rate and one of the smartest countries in the world refuses to innovate for clean energy at the same pace.  We're the country that put a man on the moon and created the Atom bomb and we can't seem to get off our asses to solve the problems presented to us by how we live our lives and the threats to our environment.

I'm talking about this because it's one of the reasons we've just ushered in one of the most terrifying people to occupy the White House in my lifetime.  As some of my friends are talking about White Lash I actually think things are much more complex this time.  I'll talk about the non-Obama voters in a minute, but first I think we should acknowledge that we, that's Democrats, forgot our purpose.  We are supposed to be on the side of the average man/woman - no matter their race or where they live or even their point of view.  That used to be the guts of our support.  We call ourselves Progressive, but we're not doing the things that progressives would do.

Bernie Sanders was in Michigan.  He got it.  Hilary didn't.  She has the power of the Clinton Foundation at her fingertips and could have made a point of visiting Flint and bringing resources, but she didn't.  If your kids have lead poisoning - a lifelong challenge they've been granted through no other effort than drinking the water in their house - and the Republicans are responsible for poisoning it and the Democrats don't show up to fix it, why would you bother to turn out to vote?  They were failed by Democratic institutions that we profess to love like the EPA.  Any time Republicans try to tinker or bastardize the EPA we scream and shout about how awful it is, but at the end of the day we didn't fix it.  Us, the people who pride themselves on looking out for the little guy.  Michael Moore pointed out yesterday on Morning Joe that 90,000 voters in Michigan completed every single line on their ballots except for President.  They opted out of a system that's failed them.

Then, there's the economy.  In hindsight, I'm kind of shocked Hilary didn't get this.  Her husband ran on "Its the Economy Stupid".   Again, I'll point at the Clinton Foundation.  Bill Clinton is trying to change the world and good for him.  I think that's tremendous.  Guess what?  Here in the United States there are parts of our country that are in a lot worse condition than some of these undeveloped countries around the world.  Sometimes you should take care of your own house.  We are seeing high rates of addiction, high rates of infant mortality, and depression and suicide.  I shared an article about that on my Facebook page and no one felt empathy for these people at all.  It was a wake up call though.  These folks voted for Trump.

When something new comes along there are always early adopters or what politicians would call their 'base'.  These are the people who are in it and they're going to stick with you,  Then, there's the group that can be convinced to come along and says "Okay, I might be dubious, but I'll give this a chance."  That second group are the folks we just lost.  They gave Obama a chance and it didn't work out, so now they're going to try this other guy.

I want to talk about personal responsibility too and how the majority of the American people act just like most businesses - they have a model they follow and if it ain't broke they won't fix it.  We the people are and have been contributors to our own demise, and willingly.  We've allowed ourselves to be sucked into voting against our best interests with social issues that the Government should keep its giant snoot out of.  The gay couple down the street is not keeping you from getting clean drinking water or from getting a job but many people have been convinced that this is something they should vote on.

In the 1980s we hated drugs and we hated unions so we started incarcerating a ton of people who can't contribute to the bottom line from prison and we don't have any unions around who might have been able to keep jobs from heading out of the country.  We also hated regulations and started tearing down those protections because we were told they were 'job killing' even though there was no evidence.  Then we started eating a heck of a lot more food than we needed and industry gave us what we wanted - more, more, more.   There's a connection here between good union jobs with health benefits and no job and a bunch of sick, fat people.  We voted for that.

In the 1990s we continued our love of deregulation and started tearing down more of the New Deal that had kept the economy in decent shape since the Depression.  That New Deal was now no deal and we continued locking up anyone who looked at us funny and we wanted to kill people with the death penalty even faster - despite the fact that a lot of people on death row turned out to be innocent.  And, we reformed Welfare.  No more lifetime welfare recipients.  And guess who uses welfare more than any other demographic?  Poor white folks in rural areas who if they turned out to vote on Tuesday, voted for Trump.  What did it matter to us though?  The economy was great.  Because like everyone, even those early adopters, we don't act if things aren't broke.

We also started making Wal-Mart our best friend.  A store where nearly everything on their shelves is made in a country other than the United States. We're really mad that all those good union jobs are overseas, and then we shop at Wal-Mart because we want a bargain.  We work against ourselves on almost a daily basis.  We gave up on the Mom and Pop shops - those small, family owned businesses we profess to love.  My sister lived in northern Idaho for a few years and while visiting I took my nephews out and about and we walked into a little store that had art supplies.  A woman in the same store looked at the stuff I was buying and said "They have that at Wal-Mart for a lot less".  Knife in the heart to that small business owner.  We the people abandoned those folks.  That's us.  When you're bemoaning the loss of these businesses, think about where you shop.

Are you tired yet?  I still have a bit more to say and if you've hung in this long try to stick it out to the end.  Remember the Bush election of 2000?  He ushered in tax cuts, and a war we fought but didn't want to pay for.  Remember Al Franken bringing bullet proof vests to soldiers in Iraq because we weren't providing them to the military?  All those folks who think the Republicans are pro-military let me lay out a fact for you.  The military makes up less than 1% of our population.  You're useful as an election prop and that's about it.  The VA is a mess and that right there shows you how much either party is doing.  Once more, opportunity for Democrats but we didn't fix that either.  Still, we the people keep hitting our heads against that same brick wall and expecting a different result.

In 2008 we gave up on Bush and put Obama in office.  Where the first thing he worked on was Healthcare.  His plan relies on all those young people who voted for him to now buy into the insurance plans, and they didn't.  People who really need healthcare bought in and they're seeing premiums that are bigger than their mortgage and deductibles that they can't pay.  We're also a lot sicker than we used to be.  Remember our need to eat, eat and eat again and the bigger the portion the better?  We drive places we can walk, we sit at home glued to television and we wonder why we're not healthy.  We wonder why health insurance rates have sky rocketed.  You can blame doctors and hospitals and drug companies, and I do, but we are part of the problem  Remember how upset everyone got when Michelle Obama suggested we shouldn't drink soda?  Drink up fatty fatty 2x4 can't get through the kitchen door (and I say this as someone who needs to lose weight).  We still smoke.  Despite all the evidence out there around cigarette smoking, we are still smoking.

We have been gluttons.  We are consuming things and food and never once stopping to wonder if what we're doing might not be the best thing for us, our kids and our future.  We are buying houses and cars we don't need and then wondering why we have no savings.  We don't know where our jobs went.  We don't know why our kids have lead poisoning.  Well, you do know.  It's us.  We did all of this to ourselves.  Some people tried to tell us and we scoffed at them for their political correctness and for being hippies.  We don't have a safety net to keep us on our feet - remember welfare reform? - while we look for a new job and try to make it in this world.  We keep hoping old jobs are coming back.  That way of life is gone.  Time to wake up and build something new.

Let me end on a high note here.  I have always said that we should never bet against America.  We're not perfect, as I have so plainly pointed out, but we can make America great.  I'm not going to say again because way too many people have been used and abused for what we had before.  This is a wake up call though.  We should protest what happened in this election.  We should organize and reach out and figure out how to make these politicians understand that they're not doing what we want.    The new president is being surrounded by excited Republicans hoping to get a piece of his magic and convince him that he should do things their way.  That is not good for us at all.  Let's really pay attention this time and we will be the change and stop relying on politicians to bring it to our door.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

It's The End of the World....

Okay, I know it's not the end of the world, but it certainly feels like it.  Yes, I wanted Hilary to win, was pretty convinced she had it in the bag only to find out there are vast numbers of pissed off white people in rural areas who feel left behind by the economy.  Now I find myself in the position of being pissed off at them for what they've done.

This morning I had a great sense of humor that went along with my despair.  Like, when I got up this morning at 3:30 am because I couldn't sleep through the end of the world, my Dog seemed exuberant.  Then it occurred to me that he just might be a Trump supporter because he does try to hump me sometimes without asking.

Then as I was out walking I thought I should probably give up on physical fitness.  I don't want to get fit and really attractive so that I end up getting my pussy grabbed.  That would be awful.  So I ate some candy at work and had a big lunch to ward that off.

My sister had a great line this morning asking what the hell happened because we thought the election was rigged in Hilary's favor.  Apparently not.

Now it's the end of day one in this new, cock eyed world where a bunch of people have voted for someone they think is going to fix all their problems and I have some really bad news for them.  It ain't happening folks.  I know because I voted for Obama twice - the first time thinking he'd fix the mess and the second knowing that he'd be a lot less messy than Romney.  I voted for Hilary because I know that other guy (I can't say his name, I just can't) is a snake oil salesman you can see coming from a mile away - well, some of us could.

Worry has begun to set in for a lot of my friends and their families.  I saw the posts from the white supremacists - thank you Southern Poverty Law Center.  I think if you voted against Hilary and for the other guy, then you should own this one.  Attached to your vote is a lot of misogynistic, racist talk and I'm afraid action.  Don't try to tell the rest of us you're not like this because that's who you've aligned yourself with.  In their post they refer to the newly elected President as "Our Glorious Leader has ascended to God Emperor".  Doesn't that make your blood run cold?  It did mine.  They claim credit for his win.  He couldn't have done it without them.  So, yeah, you own this one.

I donated to Hilary's campaign.  I felt it was important.  Now I will be sending that money regularly to the American Civil Liberties Union, the Southern Poverty Law Center and Planned Parenthood.   I'll keep reminding myself that this is not what the majority of the people wanted.  Hilary won the popular vote by nearly 2 hundred thousand votes.  It means that we didn't want that other guy.  Now we need to get rid of the electoral college.  It's screwed us twice and we can't afford for that to happen again.

I think we've missed out on a big opportunity to have one of the best presidents this country has ever seen.  She was smart, hard working and more prepared than anyone who came before her.  I guess we're not good enough for that kind of awesomeness.  Instead we're stuck with that other guy.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

"You're Not A Feminist?" I asked with surprise....

With all the stuff going on in the current Presidential election I’ve been reading a lot about how millennial women are not feminists.  Then today, a 30 year old woman I work with told me she’s not a feminist.  To give this some context, she was asking me if I wanted to take golf lessons in the spring with her and explaining that at the charity golf outing she attended last week there weren’t any women playing.  She said, “I’m not a feminist, but I thought more women might want to play.”  She was not making a statement that the golf outing had been sexist and excluded women, she just assumed that women didn’t know about it or just needed to take some lessons.  I’m 51 years old and my immediate response was, “How can you not be a feminist?”

Her response was she thought that feminists had a bad name and were very angry.  She didn’t feel as if there was any glass ceiling she was up against.  All of the things I know about being a woman in the United States and the world at large came rushing in on me.  “Do you think I’m an angry feminist?” She said she thought I was.  Okay, food for thought – at work I don’t go on rants about men but there are things I notice about the work place that I’ll point out in general conversation.  I’ve never said though “Let’s get a march together!!  Let’s protest!!”  I work with a man in his forties who repeats what women have just said in meetings as if they were his original thoughts.  He never does this to the men.  I do complain about this.    I will also admit to a sense of frustration that’s built up over the years from the time I was a teenager until the last few years in dealing with some men and even some women.  I don’t feel unsuccessful in the workplace, in fact I feel like I’ve done very well for someone who started this working life without a college degree.  However, there are daily reminders that come out of people’s mouths that I find frustrating.  Like the man who would see me coming out of his boss’ office and say “I should have realized that he was meeting with such a beautiful woman like yourself….” Blah blah blah.   

This wasn’t just a conversation about work though.  Sure, my young coworker doesn’t feel like there’s a glass ceiling in the office and when I look at her experience, she’s right.  She’s gotten her MBA and since coming to work at our company she’s had mostly female bosses and she recently got a really good promotion.  I also think that there’s more fairness in workplace hiring and salary because we’re sitting in the Federal Government’s backyard and they’re our customer.  We have a lot of VPs who are women and even some Senior and Executive VPs who are women.  All of this happened just before she started at our company though under our current CEO.  Up until probably six years ago, the majority of Executives were men.  It’s so recent that we have such a large number of women in very senior positions that I personally feel like this is just the start, but maybe she sees it as finished. 

Still, there’s so much more to being a feminist than just busting through a glass ceiling in your career.  We live in the liberal state of Maryland where we have free access to reproductive health services up to and including unfettered access to an abortion should we need one.  No one in Maryland has signed a law telling our doctors to lie to us about our condition.  That’s not true in all states.  Reproductive and general health services for women are being cut back left and right across the country in an effort to cut off access to abortion.  That feels like a much more serious glass ceiling to me that needs to be overcome. 


Then there’s the courtroom phenomenon that let’s off rapists with light sentences because no matter what damage they’ve done to the woman, he has a future to think about.  What about her future?  To be sure, there’s an added level of brutality here, Black men are not given a pass for rape.  In fact, they are convicted sometimes on scant evidence and punished whether they deserve it or not. 

As we close in on an election where we are very likely about to elect the first woman President of the United States I am reading more and more studies about how men, particularly white men, behave when women step out of traditional roles.  When men feel challenged they tend to act out aggressively which probably explains the chants of "lock her up" from the opposing bench along with outright cries to kill her.  Additionally, not just men, but women as well tend to judge women much more harshly for mistakes than they judge men for the very same mistakes. 

Can I feel angry about all of this?  I think if feminists are angry, they are totally justified in their anger.  When my co-worker told me she thought I was an angry feminist my feelings got hurt, and then, I got angry.  Here she was using one of the more popular criticisms used against women who are asking for a place at the table, for their voices to be heard, to influence the way we want to lead our lives.  It's an effective dismissal of everything women are trying to achieve.  Women are not allowed to be angry.  I had forgotten that.  Angry women make others uncomfortable.

My being a Feminist is not just about what is happening here in the United States either.  I want all girls to go to school, I want an end to female genital mutilation and honor killings.  I want women to be free to marry or not to marry whomever they choose.  I want all women to have unfettered access to health care including reproductive freedom so they can pursue their dreams. 

When women do well EVERYONE does well.  This is well documented and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) has an article about how empowering women is smart economically.  It is in everyone's best interest to be a Feminist.      

Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Man Knows Too Much

I love Facebook, and I sporadically love Twitter, and I love posting my pictures on Instagram.  I take Facebook quizzes - not as much as I used to, but I want to be in that tiny percentage of people that are soooo smart! Then I share that I found that c in the field of o's in record time - which by the way, I think pretty much everyone does.

So, you're probably asking yourself "Why do I care?"  Well, I'm trying to make a larger point here - the fact is I've willingly, if not knowingly, shared literally everything about my life online, as have all of you who use these sites.  Not only that, but all of my data has been gathered up to paint a picture of me that can be sold to marketers who want to 'target' me for sales and quite possibly tailoring what I see to be more or less expensive than what you see.

I hear you saying it now, "Blah blah blah, tell me something I don't know."  Did you know your cell phone or your laptop can be used to spy on you at any time and you might not even know it?  I'll share something - I take my iPad to the bathroom sometimes.  I'm addicted to the game Bejeweled and while some of you might take in an old fashioned newspaper, I take my iPad in with me and play games.  Some people lay in the tub and read books on their iPad while they bathe.  Or just their cell phones.  Guess what both of these devices have?  That's right, a camera that can be turned on and directed at you at any time.  Your laptop, your iPad, your cell phone - all can be turned on by someone you don't know at any time and take pictures of you or listen in on your conversations.

Google reads your email.  Pretty much all email services read your email.  Cookies follow you everywhere even if you sign on to a different computer.  Your patterns are quickly recognized.  Ever been at work and checked out the web?  Amazing how quickly the web figures out who you are based on where you go and what you look up.  Go to Amazon and look something up on your lunch hour - I bet Amazon realizes almost immediately that it's you.

The point is you are leaving a digital footprint that means at any point in time anyone with access to that data knows exactly where you are and probably what you're doing and who you're with (you checked in on Facebook or even just have location services engaged on your cell phone).

A year ago I downloaded a book on to my Kindle titled "Dragnet Nation: A Quest for Privacy, Security, and Freedom in a World of Relentless Surveillance" by Julia Agwin.  This past week on my beach vacation I finally started reading it.  By the way, the NSA knows I downloaded this book, and they probably know when I started reading it as well.  In the book Agwin talks about all the ways our data is collected and sold, to the point that there is more data on each and every one of us, including all of our associations with each other than the East German Stasi could ever have dreamed of collecting.  Agwin has a Sasi expert weigh in on what we're doing who makes the comment "The Stasi would have loved this!"  Yay for us.  As the book goes along Agwin works on detangling herself from all of the tracking that goes on.

I'm at that point right now - I'm in the realization that my data is being bought and sold, from the government to marketers and advertisers and then back to the government again.  I don't think the government should ever have this much data on its citizens without first getting a warrant and while we've willingly hopped on to the digital network and freely provided our data maybe it's time to wake up and figure out how to stem the tide a bit.  Abuse is possible at any time and I'd prefer not to fall victim to that.  I've never won the lottery despite wishing really hard, and maybe I'll never be wrapped up in a digital dragnet, but you never know.

It's incredibly difficult to give up on the world of digital connection.  I get together once a month with a group of women I've known since Kindergarten and we wouldn't be connected if not for Facebook.  I am involved as a volunteer with animal rescue and social networking and email make saving lives a lot more effective.  There is almost nothing I don't do online, and it's all being tracked and collected.  From shopping, to banking to reading the news, engaging with friends, searching job sites and other activities, I'm online.  That includes this blog.  

I have started using DuckDuckGo to search online.  No tracking and storing of my search data there.  I'm searching for an email provider who won't read my emails and I want to use a browser that doesn't track and store data either.  It's just a start, but it's better than nothing.  The man knows too much even if he doesn't know what he knows.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

The Week to End All Weeks

This has been a tough week to say the least.  We should have seen it coming when the thunder storms descended on us for the July 4th holiday followed by a heat wave and high humidity.  Here in Howard County we spent our days trapped inside our offices and houses trying to stay cool, while around the country we continued the onslaught of death and destruction that seems to have become way too common.  The problems we face as a nation are much more serious and deeply rooted than we realized.

Facebook, which has been trying to provide a way for people to communicate with one another in times of upheaval also just showed a lot of people that what they've been denying is happening is actually true.  Many of us have a love/hate relationship with Facebook - especially those of us of a certain age who don't like how often the app changes when we once again have to find our friends updates and wonder why we get some updates and not others.  This week though there was no turning away from Diamond Reynolds as she used the Facebook Live app to stream her boyfriend Philando Castile just after he'd been shot by police and was bleeding out in his car.  The shaking voice of a panicked and terrified cop can be heard in the background yelling at Diamond to keep her hands where he can see them.  On a side note I'm pretty sure this woman would make an excellent war correspondent or journalist in general.  She doesn't break down herself until she's on the ground and handcuffed but still keeps telling us what's going on.

Like mass shootings that occur again and again, every time another black person gets shot and killed by the police I find myself tuning out a lot because I just can't take it.  How can we possibly have just shot and killed another person like this?  What the hell is going on? The day before we'd just learned about the shooting in Baton Rouge.  Unfairly or not I thought, well, that's the deep south for you, only to wake up the following day to what happened in Minnesota.  That's when hopelessness starts to set in when you realize that Minnesota, which in 2014 was rated the 2nd most liberal state in the nation (article can be found here) has a deep seated race issue.  If that's the case, then our problems are way worse than I could ever have imagined.

When the protestors peacefully gathered in Dallas, watched over by a police department known for it's shift towards better policing and policies in the community, no one expected to see five officers gunned down by a lone shooter.  Thanks to the heat and humidity I had woken up around 3:30 am on Friday morning and unable to fall back asleep had turned on the television only to see the "Breaking News" banner across the screen.  I wished I'd not woken up.  Like the Black Men who had been shot earlier in the week, these five officers were not doing anything that should have ended in their deaths.

Having grown up in an integrated community - both financially and racially - events like this are always a shock to the system.  My tiny little townhouse community is incredibly integrated and according to the Howard County Police department very safe.  The kids run around the neighborhood and play in the playground right behind my house.  The majority of the boys in my neighborhood are black and they ride around on their bikes, or head off to the pool or up to the basketball courts when they're not in school or off at camp.  I think they're leading pretty good lives, but that's all surface.  I don't really know what's happening in their lives and it's not my business.  I desperately want them to be happy though and I want them to all grow up and lead great lives and make great contributions to our society.  In order to do that they'll need to be able to leave our little enclave and be safe wherever they decide to go and I don't think that's possible right now.

By the same token, I don't want our Police Officers feeling targeted and afraid.  I'm a white woman and when things go wrong my first instinct is always to call the police.  I never hesitate.  Many of the police officers in Howard County grew up here and I went to school with some of them.  They're good folks.  Several years ago I received a spam email death threat.  I ignored it but when I got a second one I called the police.  The officer was super nice and I let him in my house without a care.  That's how it should be for every person when they're working with the police. I want to know that the police protect and serve all of us regardless of race, gender or even financial well being and I don't want to see them gunned down ever.

There's a deep seated exhaustion that's settling in over all of us right now I think.  We can only take so much unnecessary death before we become unable to process and function.  There were numerous posts on Facebook this week asking "What can I do?" or "I don't want to stand by while my friends die."  There's a demonstration this afternoon on Governor Warfield Parkway in Columbia lead by the Black Lives Matter movement.  Hopefully there will be a lot of people there of all races to show that here in this community we believe that Black Lives Matter.

I also believe that Police Lives Matter.  I don't think Police Lives Matter over and above the law however.  I worry that good officers are unable to speak up when they witness something wrong within their departments and that just like in any work situation its easier, and possibly even safer, to go along to get along which perpetuates a deadly problem.  I read "Serpico" when I was in middle school and like any kid was dumbfounded that his fellow officers tried to kill him because he was honest.  Still, I think that when you're given a badge and a gun you have an even greater responsibility to protecting the populace and that includes speaking up when others are in the wrong.  I understand that in nearly every situation a police officer could be killed.  Like Black people, police officers can be easily identified for what they are - they wear a uniform that lets us know immediately we're looking at, talking to, a cop.   This makes them easy targets for someone who is out to get them and like Black people, they have real life experience with that exact situation.

Like any place in the world, the people in our nation are the treasure that makes the future possible.  We've been killing our treasure off bit by bit - through war, mass shootings, the killing of black people by the police and the killing of our police officers.  We are not doing a good job preparing ourselves for anything but more of the same right now.  Maybe just maybe though, the Facebook Live videos of Diamond Reynolds and the shooting of the Dallas Police Officers have provided us with a chance.  What we witnessed was eye opening.  We have a war on our hands inside our country and its not brought to us by terrorists - it's us.  We are doing this to ourselves.  Now is the time to stop, take deep breaths, and to listen and learn and figure out a way to get all of us through this alive.  I don't think we can do this through the politicians until we the people, the ones on the ground, grapple with our hate, our privilege and our every day actions that contribute to the worsening of events.  Let's stop fighting with one another.

Yesterday I posted on Facebook that I just felt like going out and hugging everyone and I'm not a hugger by nature.  We all seek out a hug though in crisis - we want to bond with each other and feel a human connection.  If you're reading this, consider yourself hugged - and when I do get up the nerve to give a hug let me tell you it's a doozy.  I hold on tight and squeeze so you know that I mean it.  Hug  your loved ones tight and know that there are people out there who love you and care what happens.  Everybody stay safe.


Wednesday, June 29, 2016

I Cranked Out 5 Push-Ups - What Did You Do?

Like a lot of people I could stand to lose a few pounds.   Nearly every day I walk with my dog, and I've been unsuccessfully trying to change my diet (turns out I like cookies and ice cream a lot and it's hard to give up).  Still, it's not enough.  So, I thought, what if I started sharing my fitness and nutritional goals in my blog?  I can go public with my progress and maybe encourage some others to join in and do what I'm doing.  I'm not going to tell anyone how tall I am or how much I currently weigh - some of you know me and you can just guess.  My goal isn't to lose weight anyway, my goal is to be fitter and healthier and weight loss should just be a byproduct of that activity.

I've decided to start turning my morning walk with Alby into a run.  He and I are attending a "Leash Skills" class on Wednesday nights so he's less of a puller and hopefully by this time next week he and I, and even the current foster Boulder, will begin running.  I'm going to charge up my Fitbit to keep track of my 'steps' if anyone wants to participate.  If you're interested, I use the ResQWalk app on my mobile phone to keep track of distance and it works with both walking and running.  Feel free to connect with me on that too.  Unfortunately Fitbit and ResQWalk don't currently work together.

When I get back from my walk I've started hopping on my Bosu ball for squats.  Right now I'm trying to hold a one minute sit squat while standing on the Bosu ball.  After I can comfortably do that for a while, and I don't fall off, I may try to do more on that, but I don't know yet.  Once I'm done with my squats, I'm cranking out push-ups!  I can do 5 regular push-ups, not 'girly' ones.  They're not the best but hey, I'm just starting out here and am really glad that my arms are still working after doing this two days in a row!  When I can crank out 5 really decent push-ups I'll see if I can add 5 more and so on.

I don't have anything to share today regarding my changing diet (I'll work on that as I update the fitness goals each week).  Suffice it to say I ate a few cookies to get enough energy to write this blog and I need to do that less.

There you have it - daily walk of 3-4 miles slowly turning into a run, followed up with squats and push-ups.  Let's see how this goes!

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Why Do I Care About Brexit?

My 401k, and yours, took a giant hit yesterday after the UK voted to "Brexit' as it's being called.  I'm frustrated with the outcome because I want to retire one day, but I think there's a larger lesson for citizens of the United States and our elected representatives.  Large swaths of people are being left behind in the global economy and they don't like it.  In the UK they expressed their frustration by voting to leave the European Union (EU).  They didn't understand the consequences of their votes - although I think they're about to quickly find that out.

On this side of the pond over the past year or so I've seen some disturbing things as we march towards the 2016 Presidential election.  I've seen Sanders supporters recycle old and debunked rumors to bash Hilary that were used back in the 90s to bash Bill.  I've seen Sanders supporters and Trump supporters laugh at each other as if they were each so much smarter than their foe.  "I know something you don't and you're supporting that guy so you must be an idiot."  We're incredibly dismissive of the other, but there's a real reason each person thinks the way they do and its in our best interest to figure out why.

We talk about income inequality and a rigged system but the fundamentals of why that exists are mostly boring and hard to understand.  The majority of people see a situation, draw their conclusions for better or for worse, and then take that as a working explanation as to why things are the way they are, they don't want to know about the devil in the details.  Sometimes it's because they're frankly not interested and sometimes it's because the more they know the more obligated they feel to do something. A close family relative said to me that homeless people begging for money on the corner were pulling in $40k annually.  Really?  Someone had just told him that and he took it for the truth.  Maybe they do, I don't know because I don't think anyone is capturing that information in any way so I don't think we have a clue.  In order to pull in that amount though a person would have to take in $109 dollars every single day for a year. A survey I came across that was conducted in Canada back in 2001 found that homeless beggars in Toronto made only about $300 a month.  Not quite $40k.  However, this person didn't want to give money to a beggar and now he'd provided himself with the explanation for why he didn't have to.  He was free to resent them as he went on his way to work and never have to ask another question as to why this situation exists.  On the other hand, until I wrote this, I hadn't actively searched for any real data on how much homeless beggars on the street are pulling in.  I just assumed that it can't be much and I think we ought to do something about the fact that we have homeless people.  Yet we both dismissed each other as not really knowing what the other was talking about even though neither one of us had actual information.

None of us are immune to this way of thinking and I get it.  The amount of problems we have facing us in this world can be overwhelming and sometimes we are powerless to change things or even feel that what we do changes things.  We understand what's in our backyard, what we see and experience.  It's much more difficult to understand global forces.  We also don't get anyone telling us what's going on because we choose not to listen to those that do.  Growing up we only had a few television channels and the news came on every single one of them at noon and again in the evening.  We had the Fairness Doctrine so that an issue or person had a competing point of view on the same station.  Today we don't have the Fairness Doctrine and we have so many television channels to choose from that we can find someone ranting and railing that thinks just like us so that we never once have to question our way of thinking.  We validate our own opinions without any real facts to back them up.  I'm an avid NPR listener and they mostly do an okay job of reporting the news, but a lot of people tune into a "Morning Drive" show on their way to work and have no interest in news.  While at work they talk about work stuff.  When they get home they have access to more entertainment and can entirely tune out news if they like, or tune into someone who validates their thoughts rather than exploring why people think a certain way.  We all rest comfortably at night telling ourselves that we know the truth and that it's the others who are so lacking.

Which brings me back to Brexit and the US elections.  We have large groups of people in the United States who are not happy with how things are going and they've been showing up at Sanders and Trump rallies on masse.  They feel lost in the process and now they have a voice.  No one has been listening to them for years.  They've gotten a lot of lip service and few tangible results.  Things might have been good a few years ago, but now we have illegal aliens, and refugees and gay marriage and women demanding equal pay.....All this change must be responsible for the fact that they're out of a job or hear so many people speaking Spanish.  I heard several interviews with folks in England who said they felt like strangers in their own country.  They said time and again, "England isn't England anymore".  The majority of these people are older and less educated than the people who voted to stay in the European Union and so they were dismissed.  I think that dismissive attitude will get us into trouble every time.  Let's not forget, Marie Antoinette said "Let them eat cake" just before she had her head cut off.

Last night my parents and I were discussing all of this and my Dad said "What the hell is government supposed to do about it?!"  I agreed with him at the time, what can government do? However, when I woke up this morning I thought, well for one thing, our elected representatives could listen to the people who voted for them. However they're so hung up with their big donors like banks, the NRA, big Oil and other special interests, that they don't.  90% of the American public wants something done about guns and the Congress can't make it happen.  The environment is going downhill fast - there may be no stopping it - and we still have no clear strategy for switching to renewables.  The American public wants us to do something about immigration and we can't get that done either.  All of this lack of action in Congress is a direct result of our representatives receiving large amounts of cash from big donors who have their own best interests at heart but not necessarily that of the American people.

Let's be clear though, it's up to the American people to make things change.  We clearly want change because look at how many people support Trump so that he has now become the Republican nominee for President.  Look at how large a following Bernie Sanders still has even though Hilary is now the nominee. Right now the only thing we have control over is our vote.  That was the only thing the folks in the UK had as well and in my opinion their elected officials failed to listen to those being left behind.  If the American people really want to take their country back then the first thing we ought to do is band together to support public financing of campaigns.  No more super pacs, no more millionaire donors, just the American people financing their representatives so that they're answerable to us again.  Public financing won't fix everything, but it will help our elected members of Congress to focus on what's best for the American people instead of what's best for the NRA or Goldman Sachs at the expense of the people.  That's not going to happen before November though.

So what do we do?  We want change and I think we're about to get it, for better or for worse just like they did in the UK.  We should be very careful about dismissing those who disagree with us.  They have the power of their vote and they're about to exercise it.

Further reading on my theme:  Glenn Greenwald on Brexit; Britons Who Voted to Brexit; Impact to the USA; Matt Taibbi on Brexit; Bill Moyers on Brexit; David Brooks OpEd on Revolt of the Masses

Monday, June 6, 2016

Please Don't Kill Me

Yesterday I was up early because one of my dogs sensed that I was awake and tossed himself on top of me for some attention.  Just a normal day, I got up, went downstairs to let the dogs out, brew some coffee, feed the dogs and catch up on the news.  When I sat down to open up my laptop and pursue some online reading it was about 6:45 am in the morning.

An email alert from Columbia Patch caught my attention - teen driver killed.  A sixteen year old boy who was probably driving way too fast, lost control and wrapped his car and himself around some trees and killed himself.  I have a sixteen year old nephew and he'll be driving soon and for some reason this news story just stuck with me.

I looked out my sliding glass door at the quiet scene that is my backyard.  Not many of my neighbors are up at that hour.  Were this boy's parents awake yet?  Did they wake up on their own or to the knock on their door from the Howard County Police Department?  Had they had breakfast or coffee yet before their lives were shattered?  When  you went to bed last night your son was fine, but you woke up and he was dead.

For the past week and a half I've been looking at pictures on my Facebook page of all my friends kids heading off to prom and graduating from high school.  I've seen pictures of kids as they got their acceptance letters to college.  This kid's parents don't have that to look forward to anymore.  I'm guessing they had to go and identify a body, and start calling relatives and close friends, and making funeral arrangements....

I don't know this kid.  I didn't recognize his name and I don't think I know his parents or anything other than the story I read that he had been killed.  I just feel really badly for the parents and his family.  

What is the example we all set though when we're driving?  From the time they're first born, kids are in cars watching and learning how it's done.  In the morning on the way to work I'm one of the lucky ones who gets to take the middle lane from route 70 (heading towards Towson) when I get on to the Beltway.  It's a two lane exit, but then we have to merge into a single line and we're supposed to take turns.  Of course there are drivers who hate to let trucks in and some people who don't want to let anyone in, and the other day there was a car that came flying down the lanes and well past the merge area came in hot and slammed on his breaks so he could get the MOST front space possible.  Dangerous move to say the least and showing not a care for anyone else.  I couldn't see the driver so I don't know how old or what gender this person was.

On the way home from work I drive through the 'chute' as I refer to it.  The section of road where 29 south merges with people coming off route 40 and then people try to move around getting to the left to exit on to route 100 or to the right to exit on to St. John's Lane.  I stay in the far right hand lane and just hope for the best.  People are tailgating, speeding, and frankly just not aware at all of anyone other than themselves. I am amazed that we don't have more accidents there.

The other day a mini van was weaving next to me on the highway and I thought they might have been drunk.  This was in the morning, but people drunk drive in the morning too.  Turns out the woman driving was on her cell phone.  She had the phone up to her right ear as she drove along, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, and weaving into the center lane or the breakdown lane as she went along - not noticing that one car had to jump into another lane to avoid being hit by her.

Tonight a car behind me on the way home on Marriottsville Road used an exit lane to speed up and pass several cars on the right.  As I was exiting on to 29 south from 70 east a red Prius came speeding up, hopped in front of me when there was little to no space there and then hit their brakes.  I do practice defensive driving and was ready to hit my own brakes and just hope that the person tailgating me didn't rear end me.

These are not one off incidents either.  These are daily occurrences and they happen to all of us.  People weaving in and out of traffic at high speeds, tailgating, and running lights.  People taking chances with all of our lives so they can go just a little faster, get a place in a long line closer to the front, and in general driving recklessly.  People who would never dream of owning a gun, taking other people's lives in their hands with the way they drive.

I don't know if this teenager was influenced by this or not.  Maybe he just liked the power of the car and hitting the gas.  It's quite possible his parents are very cautious drivers and set a great example.  Still, when kids get behind the wheel and see the rest of us driving the way we do, how else are they supposed to think it's done?

Daily we take chances with each others' lives and we think nothing bad will happen.  Every once in a while though that isn't how it works out.  A motorcycle rider ends up with a broken leg that almost needs to be amputated.  A driver ends up dead.  Kids end up without a parent.  Parents end up without a kid.

I'm asking nicely.  Please don't kill me.  I have a lot to live for and I suspect you do too.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Walk Out Your Door and Go Somewhere

In the summer of 1982, after my junior year of high school, I spent three weeks traveling through seven countries in Europe as part of a trip called "American Musicians Abroad".   I'm sorry I don't have a link to send you scurrying off to read all about this group, but I couldn't find one.  The opportunity presented itself to me via my band teacher at Oakland Mills High School where I was the Bass Clarinet player in our concert band and a former flute player and bass drum player in our marching band.

Me in the center, and my classmate Ginger who also went, on the 
far right, just before driving to Susquehanna University to depart 
on our big trip.
Our traveling group consisted of a concert band, a jazz band and a choir and we came from Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.  There were multiple practice sessions prior to the trip in various locations culminating in a three day rehearsal at Susquehanna University and a final concert for our parents before we departed.  We took a bus to JFK airport, and after a several hour delay, took off for Brussels, Belgium.  We traveled to Holland, France, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and Italy.  In each country we visited we performed and were well received and we had a ton of time for sightseeing.  I went to the top of the Eiffel Tower, walked up the hill to Montmartre, through the Louvre, climbed up a snowy mountain in Austria, saw the house where "The Sound of Music" was filmed, walked around the canals in Venice and rode in a Gondola.  In every country I enjoyed delicious food, especially pastries. I loved every minute of this trip and knew without a doubt that I would one day be coming back to Europe, I just didn't know when.  

In 1995 my cousin Jane called to ask if I'd like to travel with her to England.  She said she was tired of traveling alone and I said I definitely wanted to go.  We did a group 'walk' in central England for a week and since then I've tried to go on a trip every year if possible.  Even when I don't have any money, I still have a 'trip' planned.

My cousin Jane, Mom and Me at the 1967 World's Fair
Thanks to my parents I have been a traveler since I was very little.  When I was born we lived in St. Louis, a long drive away from my Dad's home town in Massachusetts and my Mother's on Eastern Long Island.  We made the big move to Maryland when I was five months old, but still, a nine and six hour drive respectfully to my parents' home towns.  When I was just two we traveled to the World's Fair in Montreal, Canada.  My parents invited my cousin Jane along too!  Our first trip together.

Before she married my Dad, my Mom was a flight attendant for Ozark Airlines.  She used to say she couldn't imagine not ever going somewhere.  My Dad had been on the military travel plan, having been stationed in Germany while in the Army.  

When I was three years old my Dad got an opportunity to work in England.  He and my Mom jumped at the chance to live overseas.  My sister was born in February that year and in June we were on our way.  We spent three months living in Chester, right on the river Dee followed by another
Mom, Me and Diane in the stroller
at the castle in Edinburgh, Scotland
three months living in Edinburgh, Scotland.  While we were there we also managed to take a trip over to Germany for a week.

All of our trips are not big overseas trips either.     My Dad was the sole bread winner at our house and my Mom worked in the home.  It's expensive trying to take a family of five on a big trip.  We took regular day and long weekend trips though and my parents made sure we spent a week at the beach each summer.

My Mom was very good at combining some historical and educational visits with trips to amusement parks.  A trip to Jefferson's house or the home of James Madison might be coupled with a day at Busch Gardens or Kings Dominion.  Those were some of our most fun trips.  We were touring James Madison's house when my then four year old brother loudly broke in with "When is  our vacation starting?!"  My sister and I shared his sentiments but were old enough to just keep our mouths shut.

Dad holding my younger brother Pat on
a visit to Mt. Rainier 
When I was twelve my Dad was spending a lot of time traveling to Seattle for work.  He and my Mom decided to take advantage of this situation and we all flew to Seattle for three weeks on one of his trips.  My Dad worked for two of those weeks and then the last week was our vacation and we drove all over the place.  We had been going places on the weekends too and my Mom would take us to downtown Seattle during the week too.  My sister and I loved hanging out in the hotel pool as well.  I was old enough to babysit my younger brother so on a few evenings my parents took themselves out to dinner.  Living with your three kids for three weeks in a one bedroom studio apartment/hotel room can make it so you probably want to get away from your children for dinner a lot.

On our drives around the state of Washington we loved playing the alphabet game because there were signs for places like Sequim and Q's are very hard to find on the East Coast!  We drove to the Pacific Ocean, we played in a water fall and tried to swim in a lake that based on the temperature of the water had been ice until just before we arrived.

Growing up my family has spent a lot of time in Washington, DC and Baltimore.  We're always signing up to go and do and see something.  From tickets to the White House at Christmas time to the National Aquarium, we are very good at taking advantage of what's offered right in our own backyard.  I look forward to these day trips as much as the longer trips when I have to get on an airplane.

I'm an Aunt with two nephews I'm very close to.  I knew when they were little I wanted to be able to take each of them on a trip with me somewhere when they got old enough.  I didn't know what I'd be able to afford, but I knew I wanted to do something with them.  They're very lucky, they have parents who love to travel as well.  As they were growing up though, rather than buy them a thing for birthdays and Christmas, my presents were always something for us to do.  When my oldest nephew was four I took him skiing for a day as his Christmas present.  He lived in Jacksonville, Florida at the time so this was kind of a big deal.  He spent the night at my house the day after the holiday and then we drove to one of the local resorts in Pennsylvania.  We had a great day together.

I asked my oldest nephew what he wanted for his birthday one year and he said he wanted the two of us to spend the day in Washington DC.  We took the metro downtown and visited the spy museum and then had lunch.  We walked around afterwards and checked out China Town which was something he'd been hoping to check out too.

My nephew Austin with our cousin George
and Mom at the Good Ground cemetery
in Southampton
My Mom and I also took my oldest nephew on a genealogy trip to Eastern Long Island where he met cousins he'd never met before and was a good sport walking around grave yards for me.  We made sure to swim in the bay and the sound and even the ocean on that trip.  Staying at a relative's house for a night he even got to use their pool.  I think he had a pretty good time.

My sister and her family live in New Jersey and so more than once I've taken my two nephews on the bus to spend the day in New York City.  We've spent time at the Lego store and Ripley's and the big Toys R Us as well as Central Park and other hot spots in the city.  One year both my sister and I took her boys to New York City to do all of our Christmas shopping but it was mostly a sightseeing trip for all of us.  We did manage to buy a gift or two.

For his 13th birthday and his Christmas present as well that year, my older nephew and I went on a road trip in California over his spring break.  We had a fantastic time driving from San Francisco down to San Diego and doing something different every day.  Two years later it was his younger brother Oliver's turn and he and I went on a Caribbean cruise.  13 was the perfect age to take each of them on a trip.  They were old enough to really appreciate where we were and wanted to do all the fun stuff and still young enough to hang out with their Aunt Karin for a week.  I feel lucky to have been able to take them on such great trips.  I hope when they get older they travel just as much as they have growing up and take their families places.

There have been years when I don't have the money to take a big trip.  I can afford to go on the family beach vacation, but I'm not hopping on a plane to far off locales.  In those times, I take myself someplace locally or even to my own backyard.  I might make plans with friends to meet up in Annapolis for the day, or Baltimore.  My Mom and Dad volunteer at the Aquarium and I can always spend an afternoon there and then roaming around Baltimore.  There's also stuff within walking distance or even biking distance.  Blandair hasn't been developed on my side of the city yet and I look forward to hiking on the trails in there with my dog.  It's quiet and when I'm in there I rarely see another soul.  It's a lot like hiking in England and every season brings new sights and sounds.

Skiing with my younger nephew Oliver at Schweitzer in Idaho
I can also hop in my car and visit my sister and swim in the lakes behind her house.  My sister and her family have done me the great favor of living next to an ocean, a ski resort and mountain lake and finally lakes so that every visit with them is not just a family get together but a great vacation spot as well.  We walk and ride bikes and in warm weather these days we swim.  Southern New Jersey is not the same as Northern Idaho, but I have enjoyed them both.

The point of all this is while staying at home has its merits, no one should miss the opportunity of walking out their door and going some place.  How many people took a 'vacation' at Merriweather Post Pavilion this weekend to enjoy Jazz Fest?  Facebook is populated with a lot of check-ins from my friends who are there and they're having a lot of fun.  I love planning to go somewhere and then going there and then coming home and recalling how much fun I had going wherever I went.  While I've been writing this post I've been searching for pictures to share that show some of the places I've been.  Here I am telling you to travel while I relive many of the trips I've taken and remember how much fun I had on each one.  It's been hard deciding which pictures to use because there are a lot of them.

If you do one thing this year make sure you go someplace even if it's just a walk in a different neighborhood.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Today's Dog So Much Different Than Yesterday's

My sister and I hanging in our backyard with our dog Sandy
I grew up with a dog.  We got Sandy when I was five years old.  She died at the age of twelve and my Dad suspects she had heart worm. She was a regular visitor to the vet for her rabies vaccine but there was no monthly heart worm prevention like there is today.  Like so many other things, life has really changed for dogs in the past few decades.  We're so lucky she never had fleas!

We would let Sandy walk with us off leash, a lot.  In the winter she'd head off to the sledding hill with my sister and I where she'd chase us and our friends as we raced down the hills.  Except for a Mom one year who yelled at us while we stared at her in confusion, all of our friends knew our dog and were glad to see her.  Even kids we didn't know that well knew our dog. She was friendly and fun.  It was fairly typical though that on the way home Sandy would abandon us to chase squirrels through the woods.  It was almost as if she said "I'll catch you kids later!  Sledding was fun but I've got some squirrels to chase."  On entering the house our announcement would be "Sandy ran away again!" and the response from my Mom was, "Well, she'll come home eventually."  And she did! Usually within a half hour or so she was home.  I rarely if ever let my dog Alby off leash, especially not on the path where everyone is out and about.

As an adult I couldn't wait to get my first dog, and like many people I thought "I grew up with a dog and I know what to do."  Well, no, I really didn't!  I didn't know anything about crate training.  Or even training for that matter.  I never knew anyone who used a crate and my Mom had definitely not used one for Sandy.

When I adopted Maggy in 1998 from the Baltimore Humane Society when she was around eight months old, I had no idea what I was getting into.  The one thing we had going for us though was exercise - she and I went walking nearly every day and so by trial and error we did well.  Of course, a lot of our success was due to Maggy's personality.  She was a really easy dog to work with and she was eager to please.  We bonded almost immediately so even if she was off leash, she kept track of where I was and stayed by my side.

Maggy
Maggy ate a lot of my stuff though, including one time a couch cushion, and so I quickly learned that all dogs need a crate, at least in the beginning.  I wish I knew who told me about crates - it might have been someone at one of the pet supply stores or a friend, but whoever it was thank goodness for the crate!  Maggy was not a fan of the crate, but it was a nice safe place for her when I headed off to work each day.  I knew she wasn't destroying my house or ingesting anything that could do her harm. She only had to be in that crate when I wasn't home and each time she went in I'd reward her with a treat before I shut the door and after.  Years later as a volunteer with a rescue who screens potential adopters for our dogs I stress the use of the crate.  Even older dogs do well in a crate when getting used to a new environment.  The crate is their nice safe place to hang out.  It also provides them with a place to take a break from small children and other pets in the home while they get used to their new surroundings.  When I have a foster dog in the house they typically eat in their crate - they don't have to worry about protecting their food or gulping everything down before the other dog horns in.  When they eat in the crate little ones can't stick their hands in the dog dish.  It also helps reinforce house training to minimize accidents.

Alby, 5 months old,
sitting in front of his crate
When I adopted Alby as a puppy I used the crate from day one.  He loved his crate.  I'd leave the door open for him and he'd just hang out in there with a toy, or take a nap.  Like playpens for babies, the younger they are when you start using the crate the better they like it.  When he was in the crate with the door closed I'd sometimes walk by and drop a treat in to reinforce the fact that the crate was a great place to be.  I have never used the crate as a punishment for him or any other dog because I want them to want to get in there willingly when it's time.  Even if they're really driving me insane and I'm putting them in the crate for a time out, I'm never yelling and they always get a treat once they get in.

Maggy was a leash puller when I first got her.  She would drag me around Centennial Lake every morning and the pulling didn't stop until she got tired.  A work friend had started using something called a 'halti collar" for her dog and I remember thinking, "That's just horrible!"  I was very judgy about the whole thing.  Then my sister got one for her big dog, Molly.  Diane was quite pregnant with her first baby when Molly pulled so hard on the leash Diane landed hard on her knees.  Molly was much easier to handle on walks after Diane started using the halti collar.  Molly was dog reactive and without the halti collar she would lunge and pull hard, and then come up coughing.  Once on the halti though none of that happened!  Here was this nearly 80 lb lab/chow mix who had been a bit of a nightmare on walks and now she was a dream to walk!  I got Maggy a halti too.  She didn't like it when I put it on her, but it made our walks so much nicer.   She had never pulled the way Molly had for my sister, but even so she was constantly pulling and the halti put a stop to that.  After a few years Maggy walked so nicely on the leash that she didn't need the halti any longer.

My Mom and Dad, both in their mid to late 70s, have walked their dog Mickey using the halti collar since she was full grown.  Mickey walks very nicely for both of them and they don't worry about being toppled over when she tries to chase a squirrel or a deer.  Mickey also doesn't always like other dogs and she likes to let some of them know, "Hey! I don't like the look of you!!" and my parents are able to safely keep their distance without her lunging and pulling.

When I tried to start running again I used the extension leash for Maggy.  When my Mom got Scooby Doo, a little Cock-a-poo, for my brother she used the extension leash all the time and we all thought it was just fine.  I know a lot of people use these leashes for their dogs and nothing bad has happened.  Nothing happened to Maggy or I either, but I would never again use an extension leash for my dogs.  Maggy liked to stop and sniff and the extension leash let her run way ahead of me, sniff, let me run past and then she would catch up.  Having never caught a squirrel or a bunny she had given up on chasing them.  She never tried to greet other dogs or their people.  Maggy only cared about one person - Me.   Once again thanks to her personality I got very lucky using the extension leash.  I have seen some really nasty injuries to humans and dogs though who have been on extension leashes.  Rope burns are not fun and it cuts through skin quickly.  I've seen people try to grab the extended rope with their hands leaving terrible injuries, not to mention what I've seen on legs.  A woman in my neighborhood walks two large Pit Bulls on extension leashes and she has no control over those dogs.  They are a bit dog reactive and part of it is her pulling on the extension leashes as hard as she can.  No more extension leashes for us!

Alby after a recent walk
With Alby the halti collar is not an option for us at all.  We tried it, but he's around 75 lbs of incredibly strong dog and he has figured out how to jerk himself backwards to get the halti off.  From the first time I walked him he has also been trying to catch cars and bikes.  If it's running or on wheels, motorized or otherwise, Alby wants to catch it.  Motorcycles are his dream catch and he has jerked himself out of the halti, slipped his regular collar (which the halti was attached to) and raced down the street chasing a motorcycle while I ran after him yelling his name.  He turns into a berserker when he sees a bike on the path or a motorcycle on the road and even with the halti fitted on snugly, he and I were having huge battles to keep him from chasing and it took a huge toll on my knee, hip and back. I figured he'd outgrow this urge or at least give up, but he hasn't, so last fall we went back to basic obedience to figure out how to solve this.  We signed up with Tecla's and were introduced to the prong collar.  For years I've been super judgy about people who used this on their dogs.  Mostly because I thought they were cruel and I believed that people were just throwing them on their dogs with no clue as to what they were doing.  Then, they'd leave the prong collar on the dog all the time.   Now here I am putting one on my dog every day, after learning how to use it properly with training, and it's the best thing I ever did.  It turns out the prong collar is a more humane option for dogs that lunge and pull like Alby does.  The idea of the prong collar is that Alby never hits the end of it - we practiced a lot so he knew it was there and unlike the halti or the flat collar he stops pulling almost immediately.  On the flat collar if Alby wants something he lunges and pulls and the more he does that the more he wants to lunge and pull - it feeds on itself and all I'm doing is pulling backwards against it trying to get him to stop making it worse.  It was a circle of madness with no end followed by a lot of coughing and hacking by Alby.  Every walk I take with him is a training opportunity so we are constantly working on and reinforcing the best behaviors.  Recently a biker stopped near us while we were out walking and commented he hardly recognized us since Alby wasn't leaping and lunging.  It was such a huge relief.  Still, so many people have negative attitudes about prong collars, and like I said I used to be one of them, that I'm embarrassed and feel like I need to provide everyone an explanation.  Our walks are so much nicer now though, for both of us.  Every dog does not need to use a prong collar, but Alby definitely does.

Alby has received more formal training than any other dog I've ever had.  We went to puppy school when he was just a few months old.  These days a lot of rescues insist on people taking their newly adopted puppies to training.  Like me when I adopted Maggy, many people think "I grew up with a dog, how hard can it be?". It really depends on the dog.  As I said with Maggy, she had a very easy personality, but not all dogs are like this.  Puppies especially can drive you crazy and if you don't know what you're doing it can end badly for the puppy.  I've now been fostering dogs for more than two years, and several of the dogs that have been to my house are clearly victims of no training.  Someone saw a super cute puppy and then he grew into a dog and all the cute stuff wasn't so cute anymore and the owner was in over their head.  People ask me a lot of questions about dogs since they know I volunteer with a rescue and one of the first things I say is "You know dogs don't come trained, right?"  When I'm talking to a potential adopter on the phone I ask them "How do you see the new dog fitting in to your life?"  because I want to know if they're going to walk their dog, take their dog to training and if they've considered all of this.  Especially for first time dog owners this is hugely important.  We all see the happy dog walking nicely with their pet parent, what so many people don't realize is that walk is a daily deal - rain, cold, hot, snow.....we're out in it.  The younger the dog the more important the walk is.  Just like kids who don't get enough exercise, dogs bounce off walls too.  Alby is nearly five now, so if he misses a walk once in a while it's not a big deal, but that wasn't true a year or so ago.  For his health and mine, we try to never miss a daily walk.

We're also a lot more interested in our dog's overall health these days than we have been in the past.  When Scooby Doo was adopted back in 1988 she had fleas and she shared them with the two cats that lived in our house.  If you have fleas in your house they are a nightmare to get rid of.  When we went on the family beach vacation the pets would go off to the vet to be treated for fleas and my Dad would bomb the house.  We'd all be in the car and he'd set the bombs off just before we left.  It still didn't get rid of the fleas.  Then Scooby and the cats started using something called Frontline and we never saw another flea.  When I got Maggy she used Frontline during the summer months.  Alby gets it applied every month, even in the winter because it's not just a flea preventative, it's also a tick preventative.  Nobody wants lyme disease.

The other monthly preventative Alby gets is for Heartworm.  It wasn't available for Sandy but there's no reason these days for any dog to have Heartworm when preventatives are readily available and work so well.  Of course, the rescue I work with has had to treat numerous dogs, especially stray mother dogs with a litter of puppies.  One of the things we'll check on for potential adopters is whether or not they keep up with monthly preventatives for their previous and existing pets.

I keep Alby up to date on all his vaccinations, not just rabies.  Sandy got a rabies shot and that was pretty much it.  The kennel where Sandy stayed while we were out of town didn't insist on dogs having up to date vaccinations.  Nowadays I don't know where you could board your dog if they weren't up to date.  I print out Alby's vaccination record before we go to boarding, doggy day care and even before group training.

How many people have a dog with food allergies?  Sandy ate Kal-Kan brand dog food that my Mom bought at the grocery store, table scraps, and Halloween candy.  Other than an upset stomach from too much candy, she was fine. Maggy had food allergies that caused chronic ear infections that were itchy and messy.  Several times a week Maggy had to get her ears cleaned and she was on special, expensive, dog food that I had to buy at the vet.  In the last year Alby has developed some minor allergies so he's now on a special diet too and his food is only available with a prescription.  He doesn't get bad ear infections and his allergies are easily controlled.   Poor Maggy though, she never knew life without itchy ears.

Alby also has health insurance!  When he was a puppy I purchased a Petplan policy for him.  It came in very handy when he swallowed one of his toys.  When he wouldn't throw it up and it wasn't coming out the other way, we ended up at the Emergency Vet where the doctor scoped it out.  The total bill was $3,000 and the insurance policy covered $2000.  The puppy of a friend of mine got a horrible flesh eating disease that cost around $13,000 to cure, and her policy covered nearly the entire thing.  Of course Alby's rates went up the next year from $25 a month to $32.

The vet we use offers a "Care Club" package that you pay a monthly fee for as well - kind of like an HMO for pets.  Alby needed his teeth cleaned last year and when I looked at the cost the Care Club, $90 a month, and it was worth it.  It covers those things not covered by his health insurance.  At this point though I feel like I should be able to claim his as a dependent on my taxes!

We know a lot more about dog behavior and dog health these days than when my Mom and Dad brought Sandy home to our house back in 1971, and I think everyone benefits from the knowledge.   The financial commitment is bigger, but so are the rewards.  Like people, all dogs are not wonderful, but most of them are and they're doing amazing things - finding survivors in rubble after earthquakes and other disasters, sniffing out bombs, helping the blind and the autistic and soldiers with PTSD, enriching the lives of senior citizens,  and helping kids testify in court.   There was a recent article about a German Shepherd who took on a poisonous snake to defend his seven year old girl - he's on anti venom treatment right now.  When dogs are willing to do so much for us, it seems fair that with all the things we know now, we should return the favor.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Hawaii: Trip of a Lifetime!

Sunset from the Fairmont Orchid along the Kohala Coast
Over time the experiences you've had get better and the things or stuff you buy lose their luster and become less satisfying.  Speaking of which, I just returned from two weeks on the Big Island, Hawaii.  If you've never been but have always wanted to go, I highly recommend getting this trip to the top of your list.  Last year when my sister Diane and I were planning our annual trip together she asked me where I wanted to go and I said Hawaii.  I have wanted to go to Hawaii since Greg Brady had to put the tiki Bobby found back in the cave in order to stop all the bad luck they were having.  Of course, this desire was cemented when I watched Jeannie bring King Kamehameha back to life on "I Dream of Jeannie".

We decided to sign up for the Backroads multi-sport trip to the Big Island.  Multi-sport meant that the trip included quite a bit of biking as well as hiking and kayaking.  We had been on group trips before, most recently the Backroads hiking trip to Croatia's Dalmatian Coast.  Diane and I prefer an active vacation and when you go with a group it naturally self-selects for people who enjoy the same things you do.  I also think that you get to see things that others miss and from a perspective that most travelers don't take full advantage.  These trips also show people how to get off the beaten path so that when you are traveling on your own, you comfortably do that as well.

After several trips now where either one or both of us could only get away for a week at a time, we also decided we'd extend this trip.  We arrived on Hawaii a few days before our group trip started and then stayed a few days after it ended.  This gave us the opportunity to see and do even more.  The Concierge at the Hilton at Waikoloa Village left a message on our phone inviting us to an orientation, that pinky promised it was not about a time share, on the first morning we were there.  If you're someplace great and you get this offer, take it.  I think it made the first few days of our trip that much better.  We immediately signed up for three activities, Sunset on Mauna Kea, swimming with Manta rays and the Big Island Spectacular Helicopter tour.  All of these tours offer a money back guarantee if you don't see what you want to see.

Sunset at the summit of Mauna Kea
We went up to the summit of Mauna Kea on the first night.  The tallest mountain on the face of the earth - yes, that's right, it's taller than Everest, look it up - it gets mighty cold at the summit and the air is thin.  It's home to several large telescopes and as it's a dormant volcano they're safe for now. You're handed a pretty hardy, cover your buns, parka about halfway up the mountain and you don't wear shorts to this one - I was in jeans and hiking shoes with wool socks and another layer would not have been unwelcome.  It was totally worth it though as you watch the sun set.  I took way too many pictures and then hopped in the tiny bus that took us down the mountain a bit for some of the best star gazing ever.  I also learned that the North Star is not the brightest star in the night sky, it's Sirius.  Who knew?

The next night we rented a car for the drive to the dive shop hosting the night swim with the Manta rays.  They provided the wet suit, the mask and snorkel and a lot of information on the Manta rays.
Night Snorkel with the Manta ray
We hopped on a large, inflatable boat and headed out to a bay near the Kona airport.  Everyone hops in and hangs on to a raft that shines bright lights into the water to attract the plankton that the Manta rays love to eat.  You basically just float and watch as the Manta rays swim close enough beneath you to touch - but resist the urge.  You have bacteria on your skin that is harmful to them.  If they touch you, so be it, but you're not supposed to touch them.  They're like beautiful space ships under water, dark on top and white on the bottom, opening up their huge mouths to suck in as much plankton as possible.  They come really close to you as they dine and it can be a little awkward, but they're harmless.  They are used to the people being out there every night, and in fact expect it.  After all these years they look for the lights each night.  Our boat arrived just as the other boats were leaving the bay and so we had them all to ourselves for about 45 minutes.

We were scheduled for our helicopter trip early the next morning and the van picked us up right on time right outside our hotel entrance (many of the companies offering these adventures provide travel to their location from a hotel or other central location).  As we sat drinking bad coffee on an island known for great coffee, word came down that the conditions were not good for seeing the island from the air.  A rainy cold front had come to visit the island and was interfering with the views we were in search of.  We rescheduled for the end of our trip, but we could have rescheduled for later in the day if we had wished.  If we were unable to reschedule we'd have been given a full refund of our money.

At 8am the next day though we were scheduled to meet our Backroads guides in the lobby of our hotel for the start of our week with them.  We had been instructed to have our bike gear on and that there was a bit of a ride to the start of our ride up in cattle ranch country.  This included rain gear, because each of the Hawaiian Islands has a wet side and a dry side and there is a significant difference.  Also, as I had mentioned, a cold front had come to visit Hawaii while we were there.  The wet side of Hawaii gets 140 inches of rain annually, whereas the dry side gets 4.  Our first ride, in the pouring rain, was to Waipio Valley where it was completely socked in and we couldn't see a thing.  This happened to Diane and I once before on a vacation when we visited Mount Rushmore and couldn't see anything.  Still, you're in Hawaii and at the first break in the ride we arrived at Ahualoa Farms to the delicious aroma of roasting Macadamia nuts.  I can't get enough of them and now that I know I can buy them online I will never run out!
Rainbow over the Caldera in Volcanoes National Park

The beauty of a group trip is that all of your vacation work has now been taken over by someone else - typically with plenty of local knowledge and experience - who will see to your every want and need.  Plenty of snacks are available for hiking and biking - in fact Backroads has the nickname of "Snackroads".   They take care of your luggage, have made all your lunch and dinner reservations, and if you get too tired, have vans ready for you to ride in either to the next destination or to your hotel.  Additionally, you have built in friends.  Our group consisted of four couples, one person traveling alone and my sister and I.  This was an especially fun group with a great sense of humor which makes it not just a great trip for the group, but for the guides as well who have to spend quite a bit of time with all of us.  This was also one of the smaller groups to sign up for the trip.  It can get as large as 24 and as small as 4.  We had 2 guides and 1 support guide.

Our group on the floor of Kilauea Iki
On our second day with the group we hiked the Volcanoes National Park.  Backroads arranged for a local Volcanologist who also had a degree in Botany to hike with us and who shared some great information.  We hiked the 4.5 mile Kilauea Iki trail and it was incredible.  In some places it's still steaming. You can't hike into the Halema'uma'u Crater any longer as there are dangerous gases so you view that from afar or from up high (more on that later). At night, if it's not foggy, you can head into the park and see the glow from the fiery lava. Yeah, it was foggy when we went in there that night. Oh well.


Hilina Pali Overlook view of the black sand beach
After our hike and a lovely lunch back at our hotel, we all hopped on our bikes and rode into the park for a 21.2 mile ride to the Hilina Pali overlook. During the ride the sun came out which was wonderful. It meant stopping though to take off rain gear and apply sunscreen. It's a slight climb into the park, but not too taxing and the road to the overlook is a lot of fun. Mostly we had a tail wind which meant we were flying! Each ride comes with three options - short, medium and long. For those choosing the long option (not me) it meant riding back to the hotel the way we had just come in. We had a tail wind heading into the park which means some hard riding back out to me. We had some hardy riders though who took it on and did well.

Day three was a 31.3 mile bike ride down the side of Mauna Loa to the beautiful black sand beach, Punalu'u, where you can see the Sea Turtles resting on the beach and enjoy lovely views of the ocean. Another awesome ride as we had a tail wind again and we were losing elevation. At one point I was riding up hill, at speed, next to my sister and I wasn't even pedaling! How fun is that? Top that off with a lunch at the Punulu'u Bake Shop, the southern most bakery in the United States and you've had a fantastic day. Add a sugary donut known as a Malasada with Lilikoi and you've just reached heaven on earth.

On day four we kayaked Keauhou Bay on tandem sea kayaks. We added two local kayak guides to this trip who shared history and other information before we jumped in the water to snorkel.  On the way back to our starting point some Spinner Dolphins appeared and nearly everyone in our group hopped into
Diane in front of me as we kayak in Keauhou Bay
the water to swim with them.  Just a little wildlife warning here - the Spinner Dolphins have a reputation for being tame and friendly, unlike their larger Bottlenose cousins.  However, always take care to remember if you do this you're in their territory and you should give them respect because at the end of the day they are wild animals.  Don't put yourself or them in jeopardy.  
The Dolphins managed to outmaneuver our group, but at one point a group of them leapt out of the water right in front of one of the kayaks.  

We spent a few hours on the water and we were well covered.  Nearly everyone in our group had on a long sleeve swim shirt, shorts and a hat.  We were also well covered in sunscreen.  Except for our two Backroads guides, everyone was over the age of 35.  We're beyond caring how we look, we just know we absolutely do not want a sunburn to spoil our vacation.  Sunscreen is readily available and there are a lot of cute swim shirts around so no more excuses when someone gets a bad burn, and I saw a few of them while I was in Hawaii.

After lunch we headed off to Greenwell Farms, the original coffee farm on the Big Island.  We tasted the coffee - without sugar and without half and half - while we took the tour.  Mainland brands that use the beans from this farm include Seattle's Best, Caribou and Green Mountain.

Day five brought the hardest day of biking we had experienced during the entire trip.  For most of us it was 33.3 miles that make up a portion of the Ironman Triathlon route.  
Polulu Valeey
This is the North Kohala Coast and we first biked to the Pololu Valley and then biked back towards Hawi and another fifteen miles past that point to a restaurant serving fish tacos.  Unlike our other rides this one did include some steep climbs where I wasn't able to gather enough speed on the way down to make it all the way up without hopping off my bike for a step or two.  There was a tail wind sometimes, but for the most part it was a head wind or a cross wind.  Even going downhill was difficult.  Once you pass Hawi you're mostly on highway.  To the right there's a beautiful ocean and to the left there's a desert.  Still, when I saw the vans waiting at the end of the road, I was really proud of myself.  All except one person completed this distance.  The truly hardy did another 10 miles afterward riding the highway all the way back to the hotel.  After 33 miles I'd had enough.  It was our last day of biking and as I got to the van and got off my bike I said to Darren the support guide, "Take this bike, I never want to see it again."  As I understand it, another one of the riders had wanted to take his bike down to the ocean and toss it in.  My sister said, "I think this is a good place for my bike and I to part ways." It was a good time even if we were exhausted and we all laughed at dinner that night, our final night as a group.


We, my sister and I, had now been in Hawaii for a total of 8 days and had already seen quite a bit of the Island and all its diversity.  The next morning Backroads arranged for us to go out on the water in an Outrigger canoe (two canoes connected to one another) to watch a sunrise.  The local guide said a Polu and blew the Conch and it was lovely.  
Pu'ukohola Heiau National Historic Site
Afterwards we headed up to brunch before getting together with the group one last time to visit Pu'ukohola Heiau National Historic Site, the home of a King Kamehameha temple.  This was our final activity with Backroads before everyone went their separate ways.  Some folks were leaving that day and others stayed on or moved to another island.

Diane and I stayed put.  This was Sunday and our flight home wasn't until Wednesday afternoon.  We dined that Sunday at the hotel with one of the couples who wasn't leaving until the next day.  One of the benefits of these group trips is that you've made some good friends in such a short time and so conversation flows easily and dinner was very enjoyable.  


Honu - Hawaiian Green Sea Turtle
Diane and I spent the last few days of our trip at the Fairmont Orchid.  It's a beautiful hotel that offers a lot of amenities, one of which is snorkeling right off the beach every day and we took full advantage of this.  You pay a daily resort fee that gives you access to snorkels, masks, fins and towels whether you use them or not.  The hotel features a fancy spa but we did not choose to go there, preferring instead to spend our time in and around the water.  Snorkeling is one of the easiest and most interesting activities to take part in.  The water is fairly clear and you find beautiful tropical fish, sea urchins, eels and the Honu - the Hawaiian Green Sea Turtle.  I have a little Olympus waterproof camera that I took out with me each day trying to capture the beauty of everything living under the water.  I now have quite a few nearly okay pictures of some very colorful fish.  

On our last full day in Hawaii we were finally going to take our helicopter tour of the Island.  Luckily
Waipio Valley from the helicopter
the weather was excellent and we got to see things that we couldn't from the ground.  We flew over the Waipio Valley and it's beautiful.  We flew over the 
Halema'uma'u Crater and could see the bright red of the lava. We saw a Manta ray when we flew over the water in Hilo. We were very happy that we didn't do this until the end of the trip. After having been over the entire island for the past 10 days, it was a perfect way to end. We did the first tour in the early morning and so we were back on the ground and returned to our hotel by 9:15 am, plenty of time to take advantage of the breakfast buffet and the lather up with sunscreen and head down to the water.

Since this was our last full day we splurged on the chairs at the beach that come with the canopy. It's like renting an umbrella at the beach, but it comes with a cooler of snacks! We spent the day snorkeling and reading and just enjoying relaxing. We had a nice dinner, watched a final sunset and headed up to our room to pack.

Our flight was scheduled to depart Kona at 1:30 pm the next day which gave us time for a final swim in the morning as well as a shower before we had to head to the airport. The water was super calm and I took another bunch of pictures.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a - Hawaiian State Fish
We'd been in Hawaii for almost two full weeks and I was ready to head home. I felt, and my sister agreed, that we had done and seen nearly everything while we were there and we've been referring to this as our best sister trip ever. We don't know how we can top it.

Some notes about what I've written here.  I've linked to a lot of extra information in this post in case you wish to do further reading on some of the things we saw and did.  Hopefully I've remembered everything correctly, if not, leave me a comment and I'll look through my notes again and correct the information.

Total flying time is between 10-11 hours from the East Coast and there's a time difference of -6 hours.  Adjusting to the time difference was a lot more difficult than we had anticipated.  We found ourselves waking up in the middle of the night on several occasions and heard other people having the same issues.  Additionally its warm there and everything is in bloom so bring allergy medication just in case.  

If you plan to rent a car also plan to drive the speed limit.  The police are very good at handing out speeding tickets.  

If you have any questions please feel free to leave them in the comments and I'll respond as I see them.
Sunrise on the Kohala Coast