The Rat Race is real, we're all in it, we're paying a high price to participate and some of us are barely keeping up. We have willingly given up control of our lives and I think the time has come for us to take a hard look at our choices and start taking back control. Around 2000 I started noticing an increasing trend in the United States and it was our insatiable need to consume goods at a high rate. At that time the housing market was just starting to take off and home prices were on the rise. The economy was good, unemployment was low and I remember thinking "Is shopping all we have left?". Then 9/11 happened and my focus changed and I didn't think about our need to consume quite as much.
In 2008 as the "Great Recession" was hitting us and just after Lehman Brothers collapsed I took in a movie at the Arundel Mills Mall. The Mall was packed with folks and nearly every single one of them had a shopping bag in hand from a recent purchase. Probably a lagging indicator of the economy and just anecdotal of course, but this was the craziest recession ever if people could still get out and shop. That changed as the recession really took hold though and people lost jobs and homes.
In my neighborhood of around 100+ townhouses, I think I could count around 20 off the top of my head that went in to foreclosure after 2008 and stayed empty for a long time - years in some cases. There are still houses in Columbia popping up on real estate sites for auction, but the numbers are significantly down over the past eight years. The townhouse three doors down is finally on the market after some rehab and it looks like there might be a buyer and then we'll be fully occupied again.
This need to buy, buy, buy though has not changed as we've recovered from the recession. From clothes to cars to houses, we buy, we buy a lot and we buy big. We also eat big. We love delicious, tasty food and in large portions, although at least this part is starting to slowly change. We are officially trapped in the Rat Race and it's not just Wall Street and the banks that have us by the short hairs. Many of us are trapped in jobs that we absolutely can't afford to lose or all we've amassed will come crashing down around us. How has this happened and how did so many of us not learn our lesson after 2008? How do we escape from this madness and take ownership of our lives again?
As I stated previously, we have willingly chosen to give control of our lives over to others. Our need to eat so much and not exercise puts us under the power of the medical community and the drug companies to fix our problems and people in my generation may not live as long as our parents or even our grandparents for that matter. We complain about the cost of our health insurance, but we are the ones choosing to live unhealthy lives. We're owned by the bank that holds our mortgage and the note on our cars. We're owned by the credit card companies for all the things we bring in to our homes. Our employer owns us because we are so beholden to all of these other entities that I mentioned before and we can't afford to lose our jobs. Jobs that many of us find deeply unsatisfying.
In exchange for all our stuff we have given up the most precious thing we own and that is our time. Time with loved ones, time outside in fresh air, time pursuing activities that bring us pleasure, all have been sacrificed to feed our addiction to stuff. Stuff that doesn't really bring enjoyment or even value to our lives. When was the last time you took a vacation?
Your job owns you in that most people can't afford to lose their jobs - even if only for a week - or they'll lose everything. We're told to be grateful for the jobs we have, taking for granted the fact that we bring a valuable resource to the job every day - ourselves. Sure, most of us are replaceable so we toe the line and keep our mouths shut and our head's down. Are we fully engaged though in the office with so many other things on our minds - kids, parents, bills.....? Some of us have achieved a level at work that helps us maintain a lifestyle to which we've grown accustomed and the fear of losing all that can keep us up all night stressed out.
How do we get out of this hole we've dug for ourselves? I have recently become a fan of the minimalist movement. I think it can mean something different to everyone depending on their own needs and desires, but at its heart it's something that I think we can all embrace to some degree. Want to get some control of your life back? Downsize anything and everything that you can. Buy less stuff. Eat less stuff. Live in a smaller house. Drive a smaller car. Spend more time outside walking.
Junk everything you've worked for all at once? Don't panic, I don't think that is the answer. The first thing we can all do is take stock and prioritize what it is that brings us joy. What are those things that we love and don't mind spending our limited time working hard for but at the same time making sure we have the time to enjoy? I know for me it's leisure time - whether that means making time to walk my dog each day, or finding time to sit on my deck to read a book, or go on vacation, spending time with friends. I have a good friend who likes her 5 bedroom colonial though because she entertains family and friends a lot. That's what brings her joy. She and her husband are getting real value out of their home. On the other hand, I don't care about living in a big house. I want a small, great house that doesn't suck up all of my money because I want to spend it on vacations as I said before.
Every time we make a purchase - from food to houses we need to ask ourselves why we're buying it. Why are you buying that car? To impress someone? Show someone you've made it? Why are you living in that big house? Why are you eating that big steak? Who said you had to do all that? At the end of the day, what do you want?
We should ask the same questions about why we choose to spend our time a certain way. As I said before, we only have so much time. Instead of sitting inside, what would happen if you took a half hour and walked around your neighborhood every day? On Friday afternoon I shut down my laptop and grabbed my dog and headed out for a warm winter walk. While outside I made two new friends. I met a man walking his puppy and turns out he grew up in Columbia, same age as me and he and his wife are ultra-marathoners. Inside the undeveloped side of Blandair I met a woman who was just exploring the park and lives in my old neighborhood. I chatted with each of these people and it made my day. I like making friends. Yesterday in Blandair again ran into a woman who was running with her two dogs. That for me was a great way to spend time - outside, moving, meeting people and icing on the cake, with my dog. If I didn't have time for that kind of thing I think my life would be a misery
If you asked these questions, are there some things you could let go of? Could you start buying yourself some freedom by making different choices? What would happen to your blood pressure if you made different choices? Would you lose a few pounds? Would you get rid of some stress? Could you change jobs if that's what you wanted? Could you retire early?
Years ago a friend of mine was heading off to work each day and leaving her newborn son in daycare. She hated it. So she and her husband sat down and went through their finances. With both of them working and putting their son in day care they were only ahead by $75 each month. My friend said "I'm miserable for $75 a month!! It's not worth it!" She quit her job and became a stay at home Mom which she loved. Her husband got a part time job delivering pizzas on the weekends. They didn't have as much money as they did before, but they were a whole lot happier. It turned out if one of them lost their job they were still fine.
I have accumulated way too much stuff in my 20 years of home ownership. Stuff I just don't need and would love to have the money back that I spent on all of it. Today I'm going through my house and putting donation bags together for Big Brothers and Big Sisters to pick up tomorrow. Less stuff means less to clean up around my house!! I am not neat - I am a terrible housekeeper. So, the less I have the better! I'm hoping that by this time next year my house will only have those things that I want to have and don't care about picking up and cleaning.
We can take back control of our lives. We can escape the Rat Race. We just have to make better choices for ourselves.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Sunday, February 19, 2017
The Intolerance of Liberals
For years now I've been hearing, mostly from people on the right, how liberals are intolerant and I find this accusation incredibly confusing because I thought that's what we were working against. So yesterday I'm getting ready for work and a guy on NPR is talking about how he used to be a liberal, but he couldn't take all the hate, so he became a conservative. Some days you just think to yourself everything is upside down and inside out.
From the little bit I listened to, the host asked for an example of the hate this guy was talking about and he said he couldn't understand why people were so upset when a business refused to sell a gay couple a wedding cake based on their religious view point. My head started to spin. I don't understand how a small business sets itself up in a community, taking advantage of tax breaks and other community offered incentives, and then determines it won't serve the entire community. Again, I'm really confused about how asking that business to serve the entire community is intolerance. If the business said it didn't want to serve white people based on a religious preference, would people be okay with that?
I am not religious, I have not studied the bible, but I have heard that some people believe that white people are devils based on the bible. Full disclosure for new readers, I am white. So, if we say that someone can deny service based on religious beliefs, are we okay with someone denying white people service using that rationale?
All through the last nearly forty years I've listened to liberals and their sometimes political counterparts, Democrats, be demonized by the right.
"It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so." - Ronald Reagan
Newt Gingrich had a list of words specifically meant for this purpose. At one of the RNC national conventions before 2000 I remember hearing that I was not a real American because I wasn't a Republican/Conservative. Sarah Palin told me I wasn't a real American because I live on the coast and not in the heartland. She later apologized but this has been a running theme on the Republican side to state outright or to insinuate that Liberals, Progressives and Democrats are unpatriotic and not really American.
Liberals have been mocked for how we raise our children, the fact that some of us buy coffee at Starbucks and for being 'snowflakes' who need safe spaces. Tomi Lahren, the young darling of conservatives loves to insult liberals and call us names while at the same time complaining of that behavior on the left.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not giving the left a free pass. We do call people on the right names. What I really want to break down is what is actually liberal intolerance. Take for instance the recent saga surrounding Milo Yiannopoulos. He was scheduled to speak at UC Berkeley until protests were joined by anarchists and the university swiftly cancelled the event. There's been a trend on college campuses to shut out people like Yiannopolous because they represent hate speech. Their claim is that they just have a different point of view and all voices need to be heard. They claim that liberals and the left are shutting out free speech. I can't think of any liberal who isn't a champion of free speech. What I can name though are liberals who don't want someone coming on to a campus only to recruit people to their cause which is hate. Especially someone who makes false claims about marginalized groups of people. College campuses should welcome the free exchange of ideas, but would conservatives be happy if someone from ISIS came to make their pitch? What would the question and answer session look like on that one? Peaceful? Reasoned?
Here's a link to Yiannopoulos' own writing, and here's a link to a profile piece and another profile piece so you can make up your own mind about him.
So what exactly is liberal intolerance and it's partner in crime "Political Correctness"? I feel like wanting equality for groups of marginalized people and then pointing out the ways in which they're marginalized is why we're labeled intolerant. Here's the thing though, as a Liberal Progressive, I'm not just concerned about some folks and not others, I think if we can bring about true equality, it works well for everyone.
I want women to have autonomy over their bodies and I want them to be able to work for a living, or be a stay at home Mom, or whatever their heart desires.
I want our fellow black citizens to be able to truly realize the American Dream and not worry that they'll be dead because they forgot to use their turn signal when switching lanes.
I want the LGBTQ community to not fear for their lives and get to be who they know they are and live their lives accordingly.
I want religious people to be able to freely practice their religion - just not try to make me practice it with them if I don't wish too.
I want our public spaces to be available to all, but not designated for one group over another.
I don't see how wanting equality for the race of people known as humans is intolerance or even politically correct. If people on the right have a problem with this then they need to take a good hard look at what American values really means to them. The pledge of allegiance that they think all of us should be required to say ends "with Liberty and Justice for All". If you're saying those words then step up and make it happen and stop complaining about intolerance.
Note to readers: I embed links in my posts to the information I'm referencing. Links will open in a new window so you can read for yourself and reach your own conclusions.
From the little bit I listened to, the host asked for an example of the hate this guy was talking about and he said he couldn't understand why people were so upset when a business refused to sell a gay couple a wedding cake based on their religious view point. My head started to spin. I don't understand how a small business sets itself up in a community, taking advantage of tax breaks and other community offered incentives, and then determines it won't serve the entire community. Again, I'm really confused about how asking that business to serve the entire community is intolerance. If the business said it didn't want to serve white people based on a religious preference, would people be okay with that?
I am not religious, I have not studied the bible, but I have heard that some people believe that white people are devils based on the bible. Full disclosure for new readers, I am white. So, if we say that someone can deny service based on religious beliefs, are we okay with someone denying white people service using that rationale?
All through the last nearly forty years I've listened to liberals and their sometimes political counterparts, Democrats, be demonized by the right.
"It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so." - Ronald Reagan
Newt Gingrich had a list of words specifically meant for this purpose. At one of the RNC national conventions before 2000 I remember hearing that I was not a real American because I wasn't a Republican/Conservative. Sarah Palin told me I wasn't a real American because I live on the coast and not in the heartland. She later apologized but this has been a running theme on the Republican side to state outright or to insinuate that Liberals, Progressives and Democrats are unpatriotic and not really American.
Liberals have been mocked for how we raise our children, the fact that some of us buy coffee at Starbucks and for being 'snowflakes' who need safe spaces. Tomi Lahren, the young darling of conservatives loves to insult liberals and call us names while at the same time complaining of that behavior on the left.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not giving the left a free pass. We do call people on the right names. What I really want to break down is what is actually liberal intolerance. Take for instance the recent saga surrounding Milo Yiannopoulos. He was scheduled to speak at UC Berkeley until protests were joined by anarchists and the university swiftly cancelled the event. There's been a trend on college campuses to shut out people like Yiannopolous because they represent hate speech. Their claim is that they just have a different point of view and all voices need to be heard. They claim that liberals and the left are shutting out free speech. I can't think of any liberal who isn't a champion of free speech. What I can name though are liberals who don't want someone coming on to a campus only to recruit people to their cause which is hate. Especially someone who makes false claims about marginalized groups of people. College campuses should welcome the free exchange of ideas, but would conservatives be happy if someone from ISIS came to make their pitch? What would the question and answer session look like on that one? Peaceful? Reasoned?
Here's a link to Yiannopoulos' own writing, and here's a link to a profile piece and another profile piece so you can make up your own mind about him.
So what exactly is liberal intolerance and it's partner in crime "Political Correctness"? I feel like wanting equality for groups of marginalized people and then pointing out the ways in which they're marginalized is why we're labeled intolerant. Here's the thing though, as a Liberal Progressive, I'm not just concerned about some folks and not others, I think if we can bring about true equality, it works well for everyone.
I want women to have autonomy over their bodies and I want them to be able to work for a living, or be a stay at home Mom, or whatever their heart desires.
I want our fellow black citizens to be able to truly realize the American Dream and not worry that they'll be dead because they forgot to use their turn signal when switching lanes.
I want the LGBTQ community to not fear for their lives and get to be who they know they are and live their lives accordingly.
I want religious people to be able to freely practice their religion - just not try to make me practice it with them if I don't wish too.
I want our public spaces to be available to all, but not designated for one group over another.
I don't see how wanting equality for the race of people known as humans is intolerance or even politically correct. If people on the right have a problem with this then they need to take a good hard look at what American values really means to them. The pledge of allegiance that they think all of us should be required to say ends "with Liberty and Justice for All". If you're saying those words then step up and make it happen and stop complaining about intolerance.
Note to readers: I embed links in my posts to the information I'm referencing. Links will open in a new window so you can read for yourself and reach your own conclusions.
Friday, February 17, 2017
To Engage or Not to Engage, That is the Question.....
I'm working on a few posts but am having trouble collecting my thoughts so I was a little relieved this morning that this popped up. First, let me thank Shakespeare for inspiring my title and then let me dive right in. Should we express our opinions on social media? YES!! One of the worst things about American social circles is our unwillingness to engage in conversation and to express differing opinions. It's not political correctness, it's a total discomfort with confrontation and wanting to tell someone you disagree with them. For goodness sake, disagree!!
Until last November I had somewhat given up on posting my political viewpoint or sharing articles that I had read. I did share a lot of rescue dogs and cute animal videos from the Dodo - you should visit this site every day, watch the videos and share because you will feel better, you will be smiling a lot!! Where was I? Oh, right, Trump. So, I had read all these articles about how you can't change someone's mind and that the more you argued your case the stronger the other person held on to their original view point. I figured, what's the point of trying to talk to people about anything? I'll just keep rescuing dogs and posting videos of someone jumping in to icy water to save a puppy. You're welcome.
This week I'm seeing and hearing (gawd, I sound just like Trump!!) people say that it's cowardly to unfriend someone who disagrees with you. I was unfriended during the election and too bad for them because I am a really good friend, the best....you know the bit. I had pointed out that what they were in the act of doing was the exact same thing they were complaining about and they got mad, accused me of questioning their morals and ta dah!! I was unfriended.
I'm a liberal progressive (should that be hyphenated? I don't know) and I'm happy to say that despite my upset, anger, confusion, frustration and constant posting about it, my conservative friends have hung in there. Only a few of them ever speak up though. If they post an article I do read it. I don't always comment and maybe that's what they do too when they see my stuff. The important thing here though is that we have a connection.
I think though, we're at a defining moment in American history. I do believe our democracy is at stake. This election was anything but a rubber stamp on the status quo. We're finding things out about ourselves that can make us very uncomfortable and I think we should just wade in and see where that goes. If we want to be a free people, then we have to talk about our friends and neighbors who aren't free. I should go down and talk to my Muslim neighbor to make sure she's okay. I should make sure my black friends are okay. I should make sure my immigrant friends are okay. I should find out why my white friends think they're not okay. I should look out for all the women in my life. I should engage with my fellow humans anywhere and anyway that I can. So should you. Take a deep breath, think about what you think, "Self, why do I believe this?" and dive in and start talking. Otherwise no one knows and no one will know to care.
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