I'm leaving this weekend to go on vacation. I'm heading to California wine country to bike, hike and taste. I've signed up for a group trip where I am the only one who signed up, so it will just be me and the guide. My sister and I usually take trips together but last fall she told me she couldn't this year and so I thought, be brave, go on vacation by yourself. Every trip we've ever been on has always had at least one woman traveling all by herself and they always fit in with the group and they always have a good time, so I thought, why not me too?
I have flown all the way to Europe on my own to meet my sister or a cousin for traveling. It's kind of fun to land in Florence and know your sister's plane will be landing at any minute. This entitles you to say things like, "I'm meeting my sister in Florence in a week" and impress your friends with how worldly you are.
For the past few years my job has been challenging and so my sister has been the one to really pay attention to what our plans are. Since she moved back to the East Coast eight years ago I drive up to her house and we fly together. As long as my suitcase is packed and I get to her house on time, it's all good. This year however, it's just me. I need to know which hotels I'm staying in, and pay attention to the itinerary and get myself to the airport and back in time.
I hear you out there "Grow Up Lady!! Sheesh, people travel alone all the time!" Right, I know that. I'm a grown up, I can do this. It's just that it's the first time. I don't even have a young nephew with me to bounce my questions off "Did you see my sea pass?" "No, but maybe it's with mine" "What? You can't find yours either? Shoot, let's ransack the cabin again..."
I'm excited but I'm also a little nervous. The company I purchased the trip with always make sure their clients have a wonderful time so I think it's going to be great. It's just that, well, I'll be all by myself. I'm about to find out if I like traveling all by myself. If I do, I will definitely be going on more trips like this. I'm not even going to consider the alternative. Glass half full, right? Right!
Friday, June 16, 2017
Friday, June 9, 2017
Want to Save a Life?
As many of you know, I'm a dog foster. Several years ago I reached out to Dogs XL Rescue who I had adopted Alby from, to see what it would take to volunteer as a foster. All rescues are desperate for volunteers and so they called me back almost immediately. Right now Dogs XL Rescue is looking for people to become fosters. This is your chance to save a life by becoming a foster. Without fosters, rescues can't pull dogs from shelters because they have no where to go.
The screening process for new fosters is very simple, a phone call with a foster coordinator to talk about your lifestyle, where you live, and how many pets already live in your home kicks everything off. A call by the rescue to your vet to ensure all your resident pets are up to date on vaccinations and monthly preventatives (heartworm and flea/tick) followed by a home visit and you're up and running as a dog foster.
Dogs XL Rescue works incredibly hard to ensure that all of its dogs not only are adopted by the right family, but that they're matched up well with their foster before they get adopted. For example, if you have a cat, your foster dog will be cat friendly. Do you have small children? Your foster dog will be appropriate for small children. I live in a tiny townhouse without a fenced yard so all my fosters need to get along well not only with Alby, my only resident pet, but they also need to do well on daily walks. My townhouse also backs to a playground that is very active and kids ranging from toddler to teen race by my deck on their way to the swings and jungle gym. Therefore, my foster needs to be pretty kid friendly even though there are no kids in my house.
Our fosters live in all kinds of homes - apartments, townhouses, small and large single family homes, farms, on the water, in the city and in the suburbs. Some of our fosters have fenced yards and some don't. Some of our fosters don't have their own dog, they just love fostering. And some of our fosters have several dogs and cats and human babies. Some of our fosters work full time and some are retired. Some work from home and some head off to the office each day. In other words, there are very few restrictions to becoming a foster.
My number one rule for fostering has always been that it has to be okay with Alby. We had one dog that kept picking at Alby until he couldn't take it anymore. I called the rescue and we made arrangements for that guy to go somewhere else. The rescue can't always turn on a dime, but they are incredibly responsive and work hard to place dogs where they will do well.
The optimal situation for all of our dogs is that they be in a foster home until they are adopted. Unfortunately though because we're always short on fosters that sometimes means that we have to put dogs in to boarding. Our boarding partners are wonderful, Tecla's K-9 Academy and Dogtopia, and our dogs can be very happy there for short periods of time. Some dogs require a dog savvy owner though and it takes a little longer to find just the right person to adopt them and if there's no foster, they can end up in boarding for a longer time. While it's still better than a shelter situation, it's not great. Like I said, a foster home and eventually a permanent home are best.
We're a rescue so while we get awesome dogs, some of them do have special needs. Some dogs just aren't appropriate for a home with small children, or they can't be with cats or in rare cases they need to be an only dog. Remember, we don't like all people and some dogs don't like other dogs. We work incredibly hard to match the right dog with the right home. We're looking to make a lifetime commitment for that dog so that when they're adopted they're going to the home they'll be in for the rest of their lives.
Dogs XL Rescue pays for all food, preventatives and veterinary care while the dogs are being fostered. They supply the foster with a crate as well. There are also dog trainers who volunteer with the rescue to answer any questions around behavior and provide extra support to fosters who are new to rescue. In addition, when you're heading out on vacation, the rescue will arrange for a temp foster while you're out of town if your foster dog hasn't been adopted yet.
On average Dogs XL dogs are adopted within 2 weeks of arriving at the rescue. Some, like our puppies, are adopted almost as soon as we greet them for the first time, and some of our older dogs can be with the rescue a little longer.
Nothing is more rewarding than watching your foster dog head off with their new family. Yes, you love them and yes, you'll miss them, but knowing that they're one of the luckiest dogs on earth is a very happy feeling. So many dogs never make it out of the shelter. Dogs who get picked up by a rescue have hit the jackpot. The likelihood of them living an awesome life for the rest of their days is now very high.
If you've ever thought you'd get too attached and just couldn't give the dog up, I would say that at the end of the day the rewards of having saved a life and given so much joy not just to the dog, but to the family that adopted that dog as well, make it a lot easier to say good bye. Do some of our dogs end up getting adopted by their fosters? Yes. Have I considered adopting some of my fosters? Absolutely. Then I get an email from the adopters talking about how much they love their new dog, and how well the dog is fitting in to their family and that just makes me over the moon happy. Then I get an email from the rescue asking me if I'm ready to take on a new foster and I start looking forward to helping save the next life.
If you are a dog lover and have ever thought you wanted to make a difference, I would encourage you to click on the links I've embedded throughout this post for Dogs XL Rescue and consider volunteering as a Dog Foster. We'd love to have you and we and the dogs really need you in our life.
The screening process for new fosters is very simple, a phone call with a foster coordinator to talk about your lifestyle, where you live, and how many pets already live in your home kicks everything off. A call by the rescue to your vet to ensure all your resident pets are up to date on vaccinations and monthly preventatives (heartworm and flea/tick) followed by a home visit and you're up and running as a dog foster.
Dogs XL Rescue works incredibly hard to ensure that all of its dogs not only are adopted by the right family, but that they're matched up well with their foster before they get adopted. For example, if you have a cat, your foster dog will be cat friendly. Do you have small children? Your foster dog will be appropriate for small children. I live in a tiny townhouse without a fenced yard so all my fosters need to get along well not only with Alby, my only resident pet, but they also need to do well on daily walks. My townhouse also backs to a playground that is very active and kids ranging from toddler to teen race by my deck on their way to the swings and jungle gym. Therefore, my foster needs to be pretty kid friendly even though there are no kids in my house.
Our fosters live in all kinds of homes - apartments, townhouses, small and large single family homes, farms, on the water, in the city and in the suburbs. Some of our fosters have fenced yards and some don't. Some of our fosters don't have their own dog, they just love fostering. And some of our fosters have several dogs and cats and human babies. Some of our fosters work full time and some are retired. Some work from home and some head off to the office each day. In other words, there are very few restrictions to becoming a foster.
My number one rule for fostering has always been that it has to be okay with Alby. We had one dog that kept picking at Alby until he couldn't take it anymore. I called the rescue and we made arrangements for that guy to go somewhere else. The rescue can't always turn on a dime, but they are incredibly responsive and work hard to place dogs where they will do well.
The optimal situation for all of our dogs is that they be in a foster home until they are adopted. Unfortunately though because we're always short on fosters that sometimes means that we have to put dogs in to boarding. Our boarding partners are wonderful, Tecla's K-9 Academy and Dogtopia, and our dogs can be very happy there for short periods of time. Some dogs require a dog savvy owner though and it takes a little longer to find just the right person to adopt them and if there's no foster, they can end up in boarding for a longer time. While it's still better than a shelter situation, it's not great. Like I said, a foster home and eventually a permanent home are best.
We're a rescue so while we get awesome dogs, some of them do have special needs. Some dogs just aren't appropriate for a home with small children, or they can't be with cats or in rare cases they need to be an only dog. Remember, we don't like all people and some dogs don't like other dogs. We work incredibly hard to match the right dog with the right home. We're looking to make a lifetime commitment for that dog so that when they're adopted they're going to the home they'll be in for the rest of their lives.
Dogs XL Rescue pays for all food, preventatives and veterinary care while the dogs are being fostered. They supply the foster with a crate as well. There are also dog trainers who volunteer with the rescue to answer any questions around behavior and provide extra support to fosters who are new to rescue. In addition, when you're heading out on vacation, the rescue will arrange for a temp foster while you're out of town if your foster dog hasn't been adopted yet.
On average Dogs XL dogs are adopted within 2 weeks of arriving at the rescue. Some, like our puppies, are adopted almost as soon as we greet them for the first time, and some of our older dogs can be with the rescue a little longer.
Nothing is more rewarding than watching your foster dog head off with their new family. Yes, you love them and yes, you'll miss them, but knowing that they're one of the luckiest dogs on earth is a very happy feeling. So many dogs never make it out of the shelter. Dogs who get picked up by a rescue have hit the jackpot. The likelihood of them living an awesome life for the rest of their days is now very high.
If you've ever thought you'd get too attached and just couldn't give the dog up, I would say that at the end of the day the rewards of having saved a life and given so much joy not just to the dog, but to the family that adopted that dog as well, make it a lot easier to say good bye. Do some of our dogs end up getting adopted by their fosters? Yes. Have I considered adopting some of my fosters? Absolutely. Then I get an email from the adopters talking about how much they love their new dog, and how well the dog is fitting in to their family and that just makes me over the moon happy. Then I get an email from the rescue asking me if I'm ready to take on a new foster and I start looking forward to helping save the next life.
If you are a dog lover and have ever thought you wanted to make a difference, I would encourage you to click on the links I've embedded throughout this post for Dogs XL Rescue and consider volunteering as a Dog Foster. We'd love to have you and we and the dogs really need you in our life.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Horrific, Awful, Nightmarish....
Updated 6/8 below
It was misting last Tuesday morning when I headed out for my morning walk with Alby. Another grey day to add to the many we've already had in May. I checked email on my work phone when I got back to see a message indicating that a coworker had died unexpectedly. The opening paragraph about his final days set off my radar that maybe he had died in some sort of freak accident, but there were no details. I don't want to use his real name in order to protect his family so I'll call him Ward since I don't know anyone with that name.
Ward had been arrested for possessing child pornography, his mug shot and arrest details appeared in his local paper and a few days later he took his own life.
Never in a million years would I have had any inkling he'd do something like this. Ward and I were not close. His office was down the hall from mine and we spoke some times about sports like soccer, or just in general office banter if we happened to land in the same meeting. Ward was a nice looking man, clean cut, smart and hard working. All week everyone in the office has been in a bit of a shock. How do we reconcile the man we knew with what he did?
Yesterday I binge watched "The Keepers" on Netflix. Once I started I couldn't turn it off. Unlike the movie "Spotlight" which came out in 2015, "The Keepers" goes in to more detail regarding the abuse that was suffered by the young women at Archbishop Keough. When I was finished watching I had a need to know more, see if there were any updates, and find out if Brother Bob had been identified. I started reading Tom Nugent's articles on Inside Baltimore. Nugent is a former reporter for the Baltimore Sun and he's written extensively on the Sister Cathy murder.
I may have read too much. If the young women at Archbishop Keough were living in a nightmare, the kids at the Catholic Middle School in Locust Point were living in hell on earth. I won't share the details, you can go ahead and read Nugent's articles on your own. When I was done I felt like throwing up.
I'm not Catholic, I'm not even a religious person, but I'm furious with an institution where so many of my friends and relatives claim a membership. Just like I was furious for the Penn State cover up a few years back. What kind of a world are we living in where young, innocent victims are sacrificed so readily? Over the years I've read the stories of the lifelong trauma victims of abuse suffer. Some of them are able to live fairly normal lives as adults and confront what happened to them, refusing to let the abuser have anymore power. Some though turn to alcohol, drugs and even suicide. They feel guilty for something that was never their fault, that was done to them, that they never asked for. They were just kids doing kid stuff when someone started them on this hellish journey.
"The Keepers" provides details that one of the abuser Priests had kept records of his victims, including photographs of half naked young girls. I wonder if Ward realized when he was buying his online child porn the nightmare that the kids in the photograph were living in? I'm not saying Ward looked at the Priest's pictures, but he did look at someone's.
When my Mom sent my brother off to nursery school in 1980 she told him that no one was ever allowed to touch him, ever, without his permission. At Show & Tell on the first day the kids were asked if anyone had anything they wanted to share. My brother stood up, "No one can touch your penis without your permission." We get a family laugh out of it, but what my Mother did was uber important. She also told him that if anyone tried to do that he needed to tell her immediately, no matter what. I don't think parents prior to that had any idea they should be sending their kids off to school with that warning.
When I was coaching soccer about 12 years ago, several parents always hung around to help out. Good. Never leave your kid unattended with an adult for long periods of time. If a parent was late picking a kid up after practice I never offered the kid a ride home. Instead, we'd sit waiting by the parking lot in plain sight until the parent finally showed. The kids all had cell phones by then too so they always called the late parent to find out where they were. Don't be the parent who picks their kid up late from practice. As a matter of fact, don't be the parent who picks your kid up late ever from anywhere. Especially in the evening when places are closing up and your kid might be all alone and easy prey.
I hope one day the Catholic Church, Penn State and other institutions who have protected themselves over their victims, come to realize and openly acknowledge the harm they've done. I hope that the survivors and their families find the peace they are seeking.
UPDATE 6/8
For anyone interested in gaining additional understanding on what's happening with the investigation in to the murder of Sister Cathy Cesnik, I suggest joining the Facebook group page, The Keepers Official Group - Justice for Catherine Cesnik and Joyce Malecki. On the sex abuse scandals of the Catholic Church, Alex Gibney's 2012 HBO documentary, Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God is very well done. Finally, Richard Sipe who is referenced in the movie Spotlight, and appears in The Keepers, also has his own web page discussing much of his research and linking to others who have been trying to get the church to do what's right.
It was misting last Tuesday morning when I headed out for my morning walk with Alby. Another grey day to add to the many we've already had in May. I checked email on my work phone when I got back to see a message indicating that a coworker had died unexpectedly. The opening paragraph about his final days set off my radar that maybe he had died in some sort of freak accident, but there were no details. I don't want to use his real name in order to protect his family so I'll call him Ward since I don't know anyone with that name.
Ward had been arrested for possessing child pornography, his mug shot and arrest details appeared in his local paper and a few days later he took his own life.
Never in a million years would I have had any inkling he'd do something like this. Ward and I were not close. His office was down the hall from mine and we spoke some times about sports like soccer, or just in general office banter if we happened to land in the same meeting. Ward was a nice looking man, clean cut, smart and hard working. All week everyone in the office has been in a bit of a shock. How do we reconcile the man we knew with what he did?
Yesterday I binge watched "The Keepers" on Netflix. Once I started I couldn't turn it off. Unlike the movie "Spotlight" which came out in 2015, "The Keepers" goes in to more detail regarding the abuse that was suffered by the young women at Archbishop Keough. When I was finished watching I had a need to know more, see if there were any updates, and find out if Brother Bob had been identified. I started reading Tom Nugent's articles on Inside Baltimore. Nugent is a former reporter for the Baltimore Sun and he's written extensively on the Sister Cathy murder.
I may have read too much. If the young women at Archbishop Keough were living in a nightmare, the kids at the Catholic Middle School in Locust Point were living in hell on earth. I won't share the details, you can go ahead and read Nugent's articles on your own. When I was done I felt like throwing up.
I'm not Catholic, I'm not even a religious person, but I'm furious with an institution where so many of my friends and relatives claim a membership. Just like I was furious for the Penn State cover up a few years back. What kind of a world are we living in where young, innocent victims are sacrificed so readily? Over the years I've read the stories of the lifelong trauma victims of abuse suffer. Some of them are able to live fairly normal lives as adults and confront what happened to them, refusing to let the abuser have anymore power. Some though turn to alcohol, drugs and even suicide. They feel guilty for something that was never their fault, that was done to them, that they never asked for. They were just kids doing kid stuff when someone started them on this hellish journey.
"The Keepers" provides details that one of the abuser Priests had kept records of his victims, including photographs of half naked young girls. I wonder if Ward realized when he was buying his online child porn the nightmare that the kids in the photograph were living in? I'm not saying Ward looked at the Priest's pictures, but he did look at someone's.
When my Mom sent my brother off to nursery school in 1980 she told him that no one was ever allowed to touch him, ever, without his permission. At Show & Tell on the first day the kids were asked if anyone had anything they wanted to share. My brother stood up, "No one can touch your penis without your permission." We get a family laugh out of it, but what my Mother did was uber important. She also told him that if anyone tried to do that he needed to tell her immediately, no matter what. I don't think parents prior to that had any idea they should be sending their kids off to school with that warning.
When I was coaching soccer about 12 years ago, several parents always hung around to help out. Good. Never leave your kid unattended with an adult for long periods of time. If a parent was late picking a kid up after practice I never offered the kid a ride home. Instead, we'd sit waiting by the parking lot in plain sight until the parent finally showed. The kids all had cell phones by then too so they always called the late parent to find out where they were. Don't be the parent who picks their kid up late from practice. As a matter of fact, don't be the parent who picks your kid up late ever from anywhere. Especially in the evening when places are closing up and your kid might be all alone and easy prey.
I hope one day the Catholic Church, Penn State and other institutions who have protected themselves over their victims, come to realize and openly acknowledge the harm they've done. I hope that the survivors and their families find the peace they are seeking.
UPDATE 6/8
For anyone interested in gaining additional understanding on what's happening with the investigation in to the murder of Sister Cathy Cesnik, I suggest joining the Facebook group page, The Keepers Official Group - Justice for Catherine Cesnik and Joyce Malecki. On the sex abuse scandals of the Catholic Church, Alex Gibney's 2012 HBO documentary, Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God is very well done. Finally, Richard Sipe who is referenced in the movie Spotlight, and appears in The Keepers, also has his own web page discussing much of his research and linking to others who have been trying to get the church to do what's right.
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