The Rat Race is real, we're all in it, we're paying a high price to participate and some of us are barely keeping up. We have willingly given up control of our lives and I think the time has come for us to take a hard look at our choices and start taking back control. Around 2000 I started noticing an increasing trend in the United States and it was our insatiable need to consume goods at a high rate. At that time the housing market was just starting to take off and home prices were on the rise. The economy was good, unemployment was low and I remember thinking "Is shopping all we have left?". Then 9/11 happened and my focus changed and I didn't think about our need to consume quite as much.
In 2008 as the "Great Recession" was hitting us and just after Lehman Brothers collapsed I took in a movie at the Arundel Mills Mall. The Mall was packed with folks and nearly every single one of them had a shopping bag in hand from a recent purchase. Probably a lagging indicator of the economy and just anecdotal of course, but this was the craziest recession ever if people could still get out and shop. That changed as the recession really took hold though and people lost jobs and homes.
In my neighborhood of around 100+ townhouses, I think I could count around 20 off the top of my head that went in to foreclosure after 2008 and stayed empty for a long time - years in some cases. There are still houses in Columbia popping up on real estate sites for auction, but the numbers are significantly down over the past eight years. The townhouse three doors down is finally on the market after some rehab and it looks like there might be a buyer and then we'll be fully occupied again.
This need to buy, buy, buy though has not changed as we've recovered from the recession. From clothes to cars to houses, we buy, we buy a lot and we buy big. We also eat big. We love delicious, tasty food and in large portions, although at least this part is starting to slowly change. We are officially trapped in the Rat Race and it's not just Wall Street and the banks that have us by the short hairs. Many of us are trapped in jobs that we absolutely can't afford to lose or all we've amassed will come crashing down around us. How has this happened and how did so many of us not learn our lesson after 2008? How do we escape from this madness and take ownership of our lives again?
As I stated previously, we have willingly chosen to give control of our lives over to others. Our need to eat so much and not exercise puts us under the power of the medical community and the drug companies to fix our problems and people in my generation may not live as long as our parents or even our grandparents for that matter. We complain about the cost of our health insurance, but we are the ones choosing to live unhealthy lives. We're owned by the bank that holds our mortgage and the note on our cars. We're owned by the credit card companies for all the things we bring in to our homes. Our employer owns us because we are so beholden to all of these other entities that I mentioned before and we can't afford to lose our jobs. Jobs that many of us find deeply unsatisfying.
In exchange for all our stuff we have given up the most precious thing we own and that is our time. Time with loved ones, time outside in fresh air, time pursuing activities that bring us pleasure, all have been sacrificed to feed our addiction to stuff. Stuff that doesn't really bring enjoyment or even value to our lives. When was the last time you took a vacation?
Your job owns you in that most people can't afford to lose their jobs - even if only for a week - or they'll lose everything. We're told to be grateful for the jobs we have, taking for granted the fact that we bring a valuable resource to the job every day - ourselves. Sure, most of us are replaceable so we toe the line and keep our mouths shut and our head's down. Are we fully engaged though in the office with so many other things on our minds - kids, parents, bills.....? Some of us have achieved a level at work that helps us maintain a lifestyle to which we've grown accustomed and the fear of losing all that can keep us up all night stressed out.
How do we get out of this hole we've dug for ourselves? I have recently become a fan of the minimalist movement. I think it can mean something different to everyone depending on their own needs and desires, but at its heart it's something that I think we can all embrace to some degree. Want to get some control of your life back? Downsize anything and everything that you can. Buy less stuff. Eat less stuff. Live in a smaller house. Drive a smaller car. Spend more time outside walking.
Junk everything you've worked for all at once? Don't panic, I don't think that is the answer. The first thing we can all do is take stock and prioritize what it is that brings us joy. What are those things that we love and don't mind spending our limited time working hard for but at the same time making sure we have the time to enjoy? I know for me it's leisure time - whether that means making time to walk my dog each day, or finding time to sit on my deck to read a book, or go on vacation, spending time with friends. I have a good friend who likes her 5 bedroom colonial though because she entertains family and friends a lot. That's what brings her joy. She and her husband are getting real value out of their home. On the other hand, I don't care about living in a big house. I want a small, great house that doesn't suck up all of my money because I want to spend it on vacations as I said before.
Every time we make a purchase - from food to houses we need to ask ourselves why we're buying it. Why are you buying that car? To impress someone? Show someone you've made it? Why are you living in that big house? Why are you eating that big steak? Who said you had to do all that? At the end of the day, what do you want?
We should ask the same questions about why we choose to spend our time a certain way. As I said before, we only have so much time. Instead of sitting inside, what would happen if you took a half hour and walked around your neighborhood every day? On Friday afternoon I shut down my laptop and grabbed my dog and headed out for a warm winter walk. While outside I made two new friends. I met a man walking his puppy and turns out he grew up in Columbia, same age as me and he and his wife are ultra-marathoners. Inside the undeveloped side of Blandair I met a woman who was just exploring the park and lives in my old neighborhood. I chatted with each of these people and it made my day. I like making friends. Yesterday in Blandair again ran into a woman who was running with her two dogs. That for me was a great way to spend time - outside, moving, meeting people and icing on the cake, with my dog. If I didn't have time for that kind of thing I think my life would be a misery
If you asked these questions, are there some things you could let go of? Could you start buying yourself some freedom by making different choices? What would happen to your blood pressure if you made different choices? Would you lose a few pounds? Would you get rid of some stress? Could you change jobs if that's what you wanted? Could you retire early?
Years ago a friend of mine was heading off to work each day and leaving her newborn son in daycare. She hated it. So she and her husband sat down and went through their finances. With both of them working and putting their son in day care they were only ahead by $75 each month. My friend said "I'm miserable for $75 a month!! It's not worth it!" She quit her job and became a stay at home Mom which she loved. Her husband got a part time job delivering pizzas on the weekends. They didn't have as much money as they did before, but they were a whole lot happier. It turned out if one of them lost their job they were still fine.
I have accumulated way too much stuff in my 20 years of home ownership. Stuff I just don't need and would love to have the money back that I spent on all of it. Today I'm going through my house and putting donation bags together for Big Brothers and Big Sisters to pick up tomorrow. Less stuff means less to clean up around my house!! I am not neat - I am a terrible housekeeper. So, the less I have the better! I'm hoping that by this time next year my house will only have those things that I want to have and don't care about picking up and cleaning.
We can take back control of our lives. We can escape the Rat Race. We just have to make better choices for ourselves.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Sunday, February 19, 2017
The Intolerance of Liberals
For years now I've been hearing, mostly from people on the right, how liberals are intolerant and I find this accusation incredibly confusing because I thought that's what we were working against. So yesterday I'm getting ready for work and a guy on NPR is talking about how he used to be a liberal, but he couldn't take all the hate, so he became a conservative. Some days you just think to yourself everything is upside down and inside out.
From the little bit I listened to, the host asked for an example of the hate this guy was talking about and he said he couldn't understand why people were so upset when a business refused to sell a gay couple a wedding cake based on their religious view point. My head started to spin. I don't understand how a small business sets itself up in a community, taking advantage of tax breaks and other community offered incentives, and then determines it won't serve the entire community. Again, I'm really confused about how asking that business to serve the entire community is intolerance. If the business said it didn't want to serve white people based on a religious preference, would people be okay with that?
I am not religious, I have not studied the bible, but I have heard that some people believe that white people are devils based on the bible. Full disclosure for new readers, I am white. So, if we say that someone can deny service based on religious beliefs, are we okay with someone denying white people service using that rationale?
All through the last nearly forty years I've listened to liberals and their sometimes political counterparts, Democrats, be demonized by the right.
"It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so." - Ronald Reagan
Newt Gingrich had a list of words specifically meant for this purpose. At one of the RNC national conventions before 2000 I remember hearing that I was not a real American because I wasn't a Republican/Conservative. Sarah Palin told me I wasn't a real American because I live on the coast and not in the heartland. She later apologized but this has been a running theme on the Republican side to state outright or to insinuate that Liberals, Progressives and Democrats are unpatriotic and not really American.
Liberals have been mocked for how we raise our children, the fact that some of us buy coffee at Starbucks and for being 'snowflakes' who need safe spaces. Tomi Lahren, the young darling of conservatives loves to insult liberals and call us names while at the same time complaining of that behavior on the left.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not giving the left a free pass. We do call people on the right names. What I really want to break down is what is actually liberal intolerance. Take for instance the recent saga surrounding Milo Yiannopoulos. He was scheduled to speak at UC Berkeley until protests were joined by anarchists and the university swiftly cancelled the event. There's been a trend on college campuses to shut out people like Yiannopolous because they represent hate speech. Their claim is that they just have a different point of view and all voices need to be heard. They claim that liberals and the left are shutting out free speech. I can't think of any liberal who isn't a champion of free speech. What I can name though are liberals who don't want someone coming on to a campus only to recruit people to their cause which is hate. Especially someone who makes false claims about marginalized groups of people. College campuses should welcome the free exchange of ideas, but would conservatives be happy if someone from ISIS came to make their pitch? What would the question and answer session look like on that one? Peaceful? Reasoned?
Here's a link to Yiannopoulos' own writing, and here's a link to a profile piece and another profile piece so you can make up your own mind about him.
So what exactly is liberal intolerance and it's partner in crime "Political Correctness"? I feel like wanting equality for groups of marginalized people and then pointing out the ways in which they're marginalized is why we're labeled intolerant. Here's the thing though, as a Liberal Progressive, I'm not just concerned about some folks and not others, I think if we can bring about true equality, it works well for everyone.
I want women to have autonomy over their bodies and I want them to be able to work for a living, or be a stay at home Mom, or whatever their heart desires.
I want our fellow black citizens to be able to truly realize the American Dream and not worry that they'll be dead because they forgot to use their turn signal when switching lanes.
I want the LGBTQ community to not fear for their lives and get to be who they know they are and live their lives accordingly.
I want religious people to be able to freely practice their religion - just not try to make me practice it with them if I don't wish too.
I want our public spaces to be available to all, but not designated for one group over another.
I don't see how wanting equality for the race of people known as humans is intolerance or even politically correct. If people on the right have a problem with this then they need to take a good hard look at what American values really means to them. The pledge of allegiance that they think all of us should be required to say ends "with Liberty and Justice for All". If you're saying those words then step up and make it happen and stop complaining about intolerance.
Note to readers: I embed links in my posts to the information I'm referencing. Links will open in a new window so you can read for yourself and reach your own conclusions.
From the little bit I listened to, the host asked for an example of the hate this guy was talking about and he said he couldn't understand why people were so upset when a business refused to sell a gay couple a wedding cake based on their religious view point. My head started to spin. I don't understand how a small business sets itself up in a community, taking advantage of tax breaks and other community offered incentives, and then determines it won't serve the entire community. Again, I'm really confused about how asking that business to serve the entire community is intolerance. If the business said it didn't want to serve white people based on a religious preference, would people be okay with that?
I am not religious, I have not studied the bible, but I have heard that some people believe that white people are devils based on the bible. Full disclosure for new readers, I am white. So, if we say that someone can deny service based on religious beliefs, are we okay with someone denying white people service using that rationale?
All through the last nearly forty years I've listened to liberals and their sometimes political counterparts, Democrats, be demonized by the right.
"It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so." - Ronald Reagan
Newt Gingrich had a list of words specifically meant for this purpose. At one of the RNC national conventions before 2000 I remember hearing that I was not a real American because I wasn't a Republican/Conservative. Sarah Palin told me I wasn't a real American because I live on the coast and not in the heartland. She later apologized but this has been a running theme on the Republican side to state outright or to insinuate that Liberals, Progressives and Democrats are unpatriotic and not really American.
Liberals have been mocked for how we raise our children, the fact that some of us buy coffee at Starbucks and for being 'snowflakes' who need safe spaces. Tomi Lahren, the young darling of conservatives loves to insult liberals and call us names while at the same time complaining of that behavior on the left.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not giving the left a free pass. We do call people on the right names. What I really want to break down is what is actually liberal intolerance. Take for instance the recent saga surrounding Milo Yiannopoulos. He was scheduled to speak at UC Berkeley until protests were joined by anarchists and the university swiftly cancelled the event. There's been a trend on college campuses to shut out people like Yiannopolous because they represent hate speech. Their claim is that they just have a different point of view and all voices need to be heard. They claim that liberals and the left are shutting out free speech. I can't think of any liberal who isn't a champion of free speech. What I can name though are liberals who don't want someone coming on to a campus only to recruit people to their cause which is hate. Especially someone who makes false claims about marginalized groups of people. College campuses should welcome the free exchange of ideas, but would conservatives be happy if someone from ISIS came to make their pitch? What would the question and answer session look like on that one? Peaceful? Reasoned?
Here's a link to Yiannopoulos' own writing, and here's a link to a profile piece and another profile piece so you can make up your own mind about him.
So what exactly is liberal intolerance and it's partner in crime "Political Correctness"? I feel like wanting equality for groups of marginalized people and then pointing out the ways in which they're marginalized is why we're labeled intolerant. Here's the thing though, as a Liberal Progressive, I'm not just concerned about some folks and not others, I think if we can bring about true equality, it works well for everyone.
I want women to have autonomy over their bodies and I want them to be able to work for a living, or be a stay at home Mom, or whatever their heart desires.
I want our fellow black citizens to be able to truly realize the American Dream and not worry that they'll be dead because they forgot to use their turn signal when switching lanes.
I want the LGBTQ community to not fear for their lives and get to be who they know they are and live their lives accordingly.
I want religious people to be able to freely practice their religion - just not try to make me practice it with them if I don't wish too.
I want our public spaces to be available to all, but not designated for one group over another.
I don't see how wanting equality for the race of people known as humans is intolerance or even politically correct. If people on the right have a problem with this then they need to take a good hard look at what American values really means to them. The pledge of allegiance that they think all of us should be required to say ends "with Liberty and Justice for All". If you're saying those words then step up and make it happen and stop complaining about intolerance.
Note to readers: I embed links in my posts to the information I'm referencing. Links will open in a new window so you can read for yourself and reach your own conclusions.
Friday, February 17, 2017
To Engage or Not to Engage, That is the Question.....
I'm working on a few posts but am having trouble collecting my thoughts so I was a little relieved this morning that this popped up. First, let me thank Shakespeare for inspiring my title and then let me dive right in. Should we express our opinions on social media? YES!! One of the worst things about American social circles is our unwillingness to engage in conversation and to express differing opinions. It's not political correctness, it's a total discomfort with confrontation and wanting to tell someone you disagree with them. For goodness sake, disagree!!
Until last November I had somewhat given up on posting my political viewpoint or sharing articles that I had read. I did share a lot of rescue dogs and cute animal videos from the Dodo - you should visit this site every day, watch the videos and share because you will feel better, you will be smiling a lot!! Where was I? Oh, right, Trump. So, I had read all these articles about how you can't change someone's mind and that the more you argued your case the stronger the other person held on to their original view point. I figured, what's the point of trying to talk to people about anything? I'll just keep rescuing dogs and posting videos of someone jumping in to icy water to save a puppy. You're welcome.
This week I'm seeing and hearing (gawd, I sound just like Trump!!) people say that it's cowardly to unfriend someone who disagrees with you. I was unfriended during the election and too bad for them because I am a really good friend, the best....you know the bit. I had pointed out that what they were in the act of doing was the exact same thing they were complaining about and they got mad, accused me of questioning their morals and ta dah!! I was unfriended.
I'm a liberal progressive (should that be hyphenated? I don't know) and I'm happy to say that despite my upset, anger, confusion, frustration and constant posting about it, my conservative friends have hung in there. Only a few of them ever speak up though. If they post an article I do read it. I don't always comment and maybe that's what they do too when they see my stuff. The important thing here though is that we have a connection.
I think though, we're at a defining moment in American history. I do believe our democracy is at stake. This election was anything but a rubber stamp on the status quo. We're finding things out about ourselves that can make us very uncomfortable and I think we should just wade in and see where that goes. If we want to be a free people, then we have to talk about our friends and neighbors who aren't free. I should go down and talk to my Muslim neighbor to make sure she's okay. I should make sure my black friends are okay. I should make sure my immigrant friends are okay. I should find out why my white friends think they're not okay. I should look out for all the women in my life. I should engage with my fellow humans anywhere and anyway that I can. So should you. Take a deep breath, think about what you think, "Self, why do I believe this?" and dive in and start talking. Otherwise no one knows and no one will know to care.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Now Is the Time to Choose Your Purpose
One of the many commercials promoting the US Marine Corps says "Many are called, few are chosen." At this time in our history of the United States the majority of us are hearing the call to act, to stop this mad descent into white nationalism, isolationism, and overt discrimination and oppression against members of the human race. Now is the time to choose our purpose going forward and stand up for what we believe and I hope that more than a few choose to do this. Let's stand up and be counted! We're off to a good start after last week's Women's March on Washington reports that more than 1,000,000 people attended the march there and in extraordinarily large numbers across the country and around the world. We have a fight song, Quiet, and more and more ways to make a difference popping up. Today I pick up my postcards to send off to my representatives, all of them, describing the issues that are important to me. I have a long list. This is the first of ten actions in 100 days being promoted by the march.
It's certainly not been a boring first week of the Trump administration. We've seen our President stress the country out over how large his inaugural crowds were, continue to blame his popular election loss on illegal voting for which he has shown absolutely no evidence, remove the Joint Chiefs from the National Security Council and add-in Steve Bannon his chief strategist who is described by Matt Taibbi on twitter as "tactically a Leninist and ideologically a racialist/white nationalist..". Some at the CIA, like former Director Brennan, expressed anger at Trump's speech in front of the wall of stars while at least 400 agents accepted open invitations to hear him speak.
The week was topped off with an Executive Order banning entry to Muslims from many countries in the Middle East including Iran, Iraq and no surprise Syria. Not included on this list are the countries that quietly fund terrorism and from where the 9/11 hijackers all hailed from like Saudi Arabia, Egypt and the UAE. Unless you were out in the woods yesterday with no access to a mobile device you know that Green Card holders, people legally residing in the United States, were detained at airports across the country, placed in handcuffs, their social media was searched and they were asked their views on Donald Trump. The lack of due process in all of this is glaring which prompts me to see if I can find a good class on the US Constitution on iTunes U that we might all want to take.
In other news, George Orwell's book "1984" is topping the best seller list and I began to think of other books that speak to American values that we might want to read as well like Walter Van Tilburg Clark's "The Ox Bow Incident" and Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird". Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments, which I'm sorry to say I have to moderate now. I embrace dissenting view points but not abuse and after my last post on the Women's March on Washington a particularly mean-spirited and abusive comment was made which I deleted. I think some found the march threatening to them personally and felt the need to strike out. If the commenter is reading this know that if you can't engage in civil discourse, then you're cut off.
I watched a video this morning of an interview with Jane Elliott on the Rock Newman show. It's under an hour long and well worth taking the time to watch. I think it solidifies what we need to do today. We can't sit back and wait for someone else to act. She specifically says she has a purpose. She calls on white women to be the leaders in ending racism. We have so many issues today that are rooted in racism, white supremacy. Today is the day to make the choice to make the difference as Jane says and stop living in ignorance. Choose your purpose.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
The Women's March in DC Was Huge!!
UPDATED BELOW (1/25)
In keeping with my theme this year, yesterday I and about 500,000 other people chose to participate in the Women's March in Washington, D.C. and it was awesome!! My sister Diane traveled from New Jersey so we could go together along with her sister-in-law and some close friends. We were a group of seven traveling to DC via car and metro. Another good friend offered parking at her house near the Takoma Metro station where we hopped on the Red line to Union Station and were part of something HUGE!!
Our new President likes to say many things are going to be, or will be HUGE, but this truly was. Far exceeding organizers expectations, women traveled from all over the country to be in DC yesterday and those who couldn't make it here, marched in their local cities and suburbs in HUGE numbers as well. On the way down from New Jersey my sister called near the Delaware Memorial Bridge to tell me she was in a "Women's March Traffic Jam"! Everywhere she looked were cars of women, by themselves, in pairs and in groups heading to DC.
I've heard reports that at least 1200 buses applied for parking permits and I saw many pictures of planes filled with women flying to DC. Some of my friends turned their homes in to Airbnb for the weekend to give many people a place to stay when local hotel prices were out of reach.
Why did I, and all these women decide to go to this march? Is it the birth of a new women's movement or something even bigger? I don't know. I hope the momentum from yesterday turns in to something spectacular. Before I go further describing the march experience though, I will tell you why I marched.
I marched for a lot of the same reasons that I consider myself a liberal and a progressive. I want women to have complete and total control of their own bodies. I want full reproductive freedom whether its access to birth control or safe abortion or my doctor telling me the truth about my medical decisions. I want us to protect the environment. I want us to invest in renewable energy and I want us to stop subsidizing the fossil fuel industry. I want to keep the clean air and clean water act. I want to protect Social Security and Medicare and I don't want the Affordable Care Act to be repealed. I want us to ensure public education is available to everyone. I believe in raising the minimum wage and making college affordable. I want women to earn equal pay for equal work. I marched for Women of Color because I believe Black Lives Matter. Finally, I believe that a lot of the progress we've made during my lifetime is now under threat with the new Administration unlike anything we've seen before and I want my voice to be heard. I want to join with others who have similar inclinations and work towards changing not only our representatives at the national level, but at the local level as well.
Our group departed my house at 7am to drive to Takoma and catch the Metro. When we got to Union Station around 9 a.m. it was already packed. The line to Dunkin' Donuts as soon as you come off the Metro was long and we headed up the next elevator to grab a quick bite at Au Bon Pain. We walked out towards the Capital where free signs were available and of course the non-official merchandise that is found at every single event ever.
Of course as we made our way towards the Capital we stopped for pictures and to buy a tshirt or two. We even managed to run into a friend from school before we headed towards the larger crowds. Their were rows upon rows of port-a-potties up to and around the Capital building and the bunting and chairs were still out from the inauguration the day before. As we approached the main area, which we still couldn't see, the crowds were getting thicker and thicker. We saw a lifesize Hilary marching with a pussy hat on. There were a lot of homemade signs too. One said "Super Callous Fragile Ego Trump You Are Atrocious" (hopefully I remembered that right). We managed to get ourselves in with a large group of people making their way up and around the National Museum of the American Indian. A woman near me said she thought if we went that direction we could go up a block or two and see and hear the folks speaking on the podium. Native Americans at the museum were engaged in a small gathering focused on stopping the Dakota Access Pipeline. Everywhere we looked were women in pink pussy hats and the crowd was friendly and extremely happy.
Now, I didn't do all my homework about the march. I had it in my head that the march started at 10 am, but apparently the speaking was starting earlier and the march itself wasn't starting until 1:15pm. Okay, that's fine. Of course, as we worked our way around the patios and steps of the museum, we were in a giant crush of people. When I say crush, I mean that each person occupied a space as big as their person and not much more. People pressed in on each other from all sides. We were intimately close with one another. You really couldn't inch any farther forward and going backwards was a bigger challenge than what a Salmon faces swimming upstream to spawn.
My sister and I attended Oakland Mills High School ('86 and '83 respectively) and the halls were packed with students and moving fast in between classes. We know how to move through a crowd. Not on this day. There was no where to go, and some people were getting very antsy. At about 10 am we were standing on the patio around the museum, off to our left we could glimpse the jumbotron, but we couldn't see it clearly and we couldn't hear anything the speakers were saying. The crush of people was only getting greater. No one had any phone service to speak of. Diane and her sister in law were probably 15 ft away from me, but at least 30 people stood in between us. Looking at my watch I was thinking I can't see the speakers, I can't hear the speakers and I'm feeling mashed and so I thought we should get out of the crush. I tried to signal Diane but at times the crowd was loud and it was hard to get through. I couldn't text or call because I didn't have phone service.
I looked across the street towards the Air and Space museum and I could tell that people next to the building had freedom of movement, but not a lot. I also didn't think we could make it there when I looked at the sea of people. I turned around and could see the National Gallery of Art and thought we might have a chance if we went in that direction. I didn't see any way we could go back the way we had come. I finally got Diane's attention and we turned our group around and made our slow way out of the crowd.
I said earlier that the crowd was friendly and polite, and that's mostly true, but put even the most polite people together in a crush and nerves are sure to be on edge. Groups attempting to escape the crowd had linked arms and would push through a crack in the people and you'd be trapped, unable to move while they forced their way out. Or you'd be faced with people who surprisingly were attempting to move deeper in to the crowd. Folks next to me at the National Museum of the American Indian said Jamie Raskin was their representative and they were supposed to be meeting up near the podium. I learned last night they had stopped people from coming into the area close to the podium because there were already too many people at that point.
Scary moments are when you feel a force pushing at your back and know that you are powerless to stop it. Calls to cease pushing could be heard. An ambulance appeared seemingly out of nowhere on Jefferson Drive and 4th Street. The crowd could not part to let the ambulance get through. As we weaved our way slowly through the crowds I could hear people calling to let the ambulance through and knew we could make it across Jefferson Drive and the ambulance wouldn't have made it to where we were the crowds were that thick. In desperation to get through the crowd people started claiming, truthfully or not that they had a great need to move ahead of others. A woman near me said that people she was with were having anxiety attacks. I was concerned and asked where they were. "Well, they're ahead of us now, I can't see them." Another woman was softly calling "Lilly!" and peering behind me. I asked if she needed help locating someone and my efforts garnered me a dirty look. I'm not innocent of the snark. At one point four tall men pushed their way in front of my friends and I, and I felt that I had been shoved aside. I said "Don't worry, women are used to being pushed aside to let men through, don't worry about us." The young man turned to me and said "We're marching with our Mom and trying to keep up with her." Well, okay, good for you, but you still didn't need to push me aside.
A woman on a scooter yelled out "Scooter!! Coming through!!" and literally ran over the feet of a man near me. He said "You're running over my feet!!" The woman on the scooter didn't seem to care. I heard that an elderly, sick woman needed to get through, that a child in a wheel chair needed to get through, that a woman in a wheel chair needed to get through, and when I or someone else in the crowd would ask where they were, they were not near enough to be seen. I also saw people smile and help people catch up with their groups. At one point my sister and I were separated and the crowd chanted my name as they parted enough to let me slide through and catch up with her. That was the majority of the time.
I think it took us a good hour to move through all those people as we worked our way up 4th street to the National Gallery of Art where we finally had room to move about. We also managed to run in to another friend who had grown up across the street from us. We took advantage of the time to head in to the museum, use the bathroom, look at some art and regroup. We decided to grab lunch a few blocks from the march and then join the march in progress afterwards. When we made our way back to the march though, everyone was pooped out. At least one in our party just wasn't feeling right and we decided to call it a day. We hopped on the red line at Metro Center and headed out.
We listened to the coverage on the way home and got to my house and kicked back to take in all the televised coverage. It was amazing watching all the people who had gone to the marches around the country and seeing how many people had shown up in DC. I'm so glad that we went even if we didn't actually join in a moving march. I felt and still do feel energized like something great is about to happen and this is just the beginning. I hope the momentum sticks with us and that people get involved at all levels of government. Think about all the people who have a say over your life that you vote for. From the group of people deciding about reserved parking and what color I can paint my door in my townhouse community, to the Board of Education, the County Council, the State Legislature and all the way up to the President of the United States. It's a lot of folks who are making decisions that impact the way we live, whether or not we thrive, and determining how much freedom we get to lead our lives in the way we see fit.
The importance of the march yesterday to me at least is, as I said earlier, I want my voice to be heard. I want to be taken in to account when decisions are made. I'm going to be writing and calling and attending meetings and if there's another march, I'm going to be there. Today the women's march sent out a plan for 10 actions in 100 days. The first one is a postcard that goes to your elected representatives. They said have a party and fill yours out and mail them off. Well, okay, I will do that. I commit to do the ten things they're going to ask. It's a choice I'm making that I'm involved and I'm committed because this is important. We're deciding what we want our world to look like and I'm not sitting on the sidelines for that.
UPDATE 1/25 - When I originally published this on Sunday, crowd estimates were at around 500,000. I'm now hearing that more than 1,000,000 people were at the march in DC.
In keeping with my theme this year, yesterday I and about 500,000 other people chose to participate in the Women's March in Washington, D.C. and it was awesome!! My sister Diane traveled from New Jersey so we could go together along with her sister-in-law and some close friends. We were a group of seven traveling to DC via car and metro. Another good friend offered parking at her house near the Takoma Metro station where we hopped on the Red line to Union Station and were part of something HUGE!!
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| Our Group of Marchers |
I've heard reports that at least 1200 buses applied for parking permits and I saw many pictures of planes filled with women flying to DC. Some of my friends turned their homes in to Airbnb for the weekend to give many people a place to stay when local hotel prices were out of reach.
Why did I, and all these women decide to go to this march? Is it the birth of a new women's movement or something even bigger? I don't know. I hope the momentum from yesterday turns in to something spectacular. Before I go further describing the march experience though, I will tell you why I marched.
I marched for a lot of the same reasons that I consider myself a liberal and a progressive. I want women to have complete and total control of their own bodies. I want full reproductive freedom whether its access to birth control or safe abortion or my doctor telling me the truth about my medical decisions. I want us to protect the environment. I want us to invest in renewable energy and I want us to stop subsidizing the fossil fuel industry. I want to keep the clean air and clean water act. I want to protect Social Security and Medicare and I don't want the Affordable Care Act to be repealed. I want us to ensure public education is available to everyone. I believe in raising the minimum wage and making college affordable. I want women to earn equal pay for equal work. I marched for Women of Color because I believe Black Lives Matter. Finally, I believe that a lot of the progress we've made during my lifetime is now under threat with the new Administration unlike anything we've seen before and I want my voice to be heard. I want to join with others who have similar inclinations and work towards changing not only our representatives at the national level, but at the local level as well.
Our group departed my house at 7am to drive to Takoma and catch the Metro. When we got to Union Station around 9 a.m. it was already packed. The line to Dunkin' Donuts as soon as you come off the Metro was long and we headed up the next elevator to grab a quick bite at Au Bon Pain. We walked out towards the Capital where free signs were available and of course the non-official merchandise that is found at every single event ever.
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| My friend Tracey and I with our signs |
Now, I didn't do all my homework about the march. I had it in my head that the march started at 10 am, but apparently the speaking was starting earlier and the march itself wasn't starting until 1:15pm. Okay, that's fine. Of course, as we worked our way around the patios and steps of the museum, we were in a giant crush of people. When I say crush, I mean that each person occupied a space as big as their person and not much more. People pressed in on each other from all sides. We were intimately close with one another. You really couldn't inch any farther forward and going backwards was a bigger challenge than what a Salmon faces swimming upstream to spawn.
My sister and I attended Oakland Mills High School ('86 and '83 respectively) and the halls were packed with students and moving fast in between classes. We know how to move through a crowd. Not on this day. There was no where to go, and some people were getting very antsy. At about 10 am we were standing on the patio around the museum, off to our left we could glimpse the jumbotron, but we couldn't see it clearly and we couldn't hear anything the speakers were saying. The crush of people was only getting greater. No one had any phone service to speak of. Diane and her sister in law were probably 15 ft away from me, but at least 30 people stood in between us. Looking at my watch I was thinking I can't see the speakers, I can't hear the speakers and I'm feeling mashed and so I thought we should get out of the crush. I tried to signal Diane but at times the crowd was loud and it was hard to get through. I couldn't text or call because I didn't have phone service.
 |
| Looking across the sea of people towards the Air and Space Museum |
I said earlier that the crowd was friendly and polite, and that's mostly true, but put even the most polite people together in a crush and nerves are sure to be on edge. Groups attempting to escape the crowd had linked arms and would push through a crack in the people and you'd be trapped, unable to move while they forced their way out. Or you'd be faced with people who surprisingly were attempting to move deeper in to the crowd. Folks next to me at the National Museum of the American Indian said Jamie Raskin was their representative and they were supposed to be meeting up near the podium. I learned last night they had stopped people from coming into the area close to the podium because there were already too many people at that point.
Scary moments are when you feel a force pushing at your back and know that you are powerless to stop it. Calls to cease pushing could be heard. An ambulance appeared seemingly out of nowhere on Jefferson Drive and 4th Street. The crowd could not part to let the ambulance get through. As we weaved our way slowly through the crowds I could hear people calling to let the ambulance through and knew we could make it across Jefferson Drive and the ambulance wouldn't have made it to where we were the crowds were that thick. In desperation to get through the crowd people started claiming, truthfully or not that they had a great need to move ahead of others. A woman near me said that people she was with were having anxiety attacks. I was concerned and asked where they were. "Well, they're ahead of us now, I can't see them." Another woman was softly calling "Lilly!" and peering behind me. I asked if she needed help locating someone and my efforts garnered me a dirty look. I'm not innocent of the snark. At one point four tall men pushed their way in front of my friends and I, and I felt that I had been shoved aside. I said "Don't worry, women are used to being pushed aside to let men through, don't worry about us." The young man turned to me and said "We're marching with our Mom and trying to keep up with her." Well, okay, good for you, but you still didn't need to push me aside.
A woman on a scooter yelled out "Scooter!! Coming through!!" and literally ran over the feet of a man near me. He said "You're running over my feet!!" The woman on the scooter didn't seem to care. I heard that an elderly, sick woman needed to get through, that a child in a wheel chair needed to get through, that a woman in a wheel chair needed to get through, and when I or someone else in the crowd would ask where they were, they were not near enough to be seen. I also saw people smile and help people catch up with their groups. At one point my sister and I were separated and the crowd chanted my name as they parted enough to let me slide through and catch up with her. That was the majority of the time.
I think it took us a good hour to move through all those people as we worked our way up 4th street to the National Gallery of Art where we finally had room to move about. We also managed to run in to another friend who had grown up across the street from us. We took advantage of the time to head in to the museum, use the bathroom, look at some art and regroup. We decided to grab lunch a few blocks from the march and then join the march in progress afterwards. When we made our way back to the march though, everyone was pooped out. At least one in our party just wasn't feeling right and we decided to call it a day. We hopped on the red line at Metro Center and headed out.
We listened to the coverage on the way home and got to my house and kicked back to take in all the televised coverage. It was amazing watching all the people who had gone to the marches around the country and seeing how many people had shown up in DC. I'm so glad that we went even if we didn't actually join in a moving march. I felt and still do feel energized like something great is about to happen and this is just the beginning. I hope the momentum sticks with us and that people get involved at all levels of government. Think about all the people who have a say over your life that you vote for. From the group of people deciding about reserved parking and what color I can paint my door in my townhouse community, to the Board of Education, the County Council, the State Legislature and all the way up to the President of the United States. It's a lot of folks who are making decisions that impact the way we live, whether or not we thrive, and determining how much freedom we get to lead our lives in the way we see fit.
The importance of the march yesterday to me at least is, as I said earlier, I want my voice to be heard. I want to be taken in to account when decisions are made. I'm going to be writing and calling and attending meetings and if there's another march, I'm going to be there. Today the women's march sent out a plan for 10 actions in 100 days. The first one is a postcard that goes to your elected representatives. They said have a party and fill yours out and mail them off. Well, okay, I will do that. I commit to do the ten things they're going to ask. It's a choice I'm making that I'm involved and I'm committed because this is important. We're deciding what we want our world to look like and I'm not sitting on the sidelines for that.
UPDATE 1/25 - When I originally published this on Sunday, crowd estimates were at around 500,000. I'm now hearing that more than 1,000,000 people were at the march in DC.
Monday, January 2, 2017
The Choices You Make
Happy New Year to All! It's just the second day of 2017 and I am going to work on a theme for my posts this year - Choices. I think it's a good and important theme because as we are all aware, choices have consequences. Sometimes we have immediate feedback on our choices and sometimes we feel no impact at all. I want to touch on some simple choices like exercise and dinner, but I also want to talk about broader and bigger choices like who we choose to represent us in government and some stuff in between. At the end of 2017 it would be nice if we could say to ourselves that we had made some really good choices in the past year.
Every single day we make hundreds of choices. I will try not to run down a bunch of rabbit holes that make your head swirl as I write, but instead, I want people to think about what every choice means and whether or not you can live with the consequences of those choices. What does a choice mean to you? Why are you choosing what you're choosing? Does the choice you're making bring value to your life? What would happen if you made a different choice? What would happen if you couldn't get your first choice?
Years ago I read the following: Make your decision and then live your life like you had no other choice. It's about not having regrets, or looking back. However, sometimes we make a choice that turns out badly and it's good to look back to try and figure out where we went wrong. Maybe we'll conclude that given the same set of circumstances we'd make exactly the same choice again. It never hurts to have a 'debrief'. What you want to make sure to do is learn and grow and keep moving forward.
When I was little my parents would take us over to the Columbia Swim Center in the evenings. Unlike today's Splashdown, we had a high dive to climb up and jump off. I was eight and my sister was five and we loved going off the high dive. On my way up the ladder I'd stop and let go to show off my bravery. My sister wanted to show how brave she was too - and she slipped and fell hard on to the concrete below, cracking her skull. I was a little kid of course, but I knew my sister liked to copy me. Younger siblings are doing everything they can to keep up with older siblings. I knew she'd try to do everything I did. I didn't know she'd slip and fall. She and my Mom went off to the hospital in the ambulance and my Dad followed in the car. No, they didn't leave me alone at the pool, a neighbor watched out for me while they looked after my sister. In case you're wondering, she's fine. She grew up and is having a very good life.
Okay, so while today's parents are freaking out over this story, I'll fill in some more details. Where were my Mom and Dad? Why weren't they hovering over us like today's parents making sure we didn't fall off the high dive? This was 1973 and kids were given a lot more space then. All of the parents were swimming laps or chatting at the other end of the pool. All of the kids were swimming in the deep end of the pool and jumping off the diving boards. There was a lifeguard sitting in the stand.
In 1973 Columbia was a small town. Nearly everyone we knew was on swim team, including our parents. My sister was a "Mini-Might!" - the name of the group of kids in the 5-6 yr age group. All of us went to swim practice multiple times per week and all of us were excellent swimmers. Jumping off the high dive was part of regular practice for the younger kids. We did it all the time with no incidents. My sister is athletic - she was jumping in to the pool and swimming by age two. My Mom tells a story of her standing on the edge of the pool saying "'mere Daddy" and signaling to my Dad to come over because she was jumping in. Sometimes she would say it and leap before my Dad was ready and he'd have to quickly move to her. As a Mini-Might she swam quite a distance without taking a breath. She hadn't gotten the breathing part down yet. That happens with a lot of kids.
My Dad heard my sister fall off the high dive. She didn't scream, but he heard the thunk as her head hit the pavement and he knew it was his little girl. He said he felt it in his heart. He was in the pool at the time, at the other end in a lap lane. He leaped up and ran. So did the lifeguard, my Mom and a lot of adults. It happened really quickly. As I said before, my sister had cracked her skull and had a minor concussion. She missed a day or two of school. After all of this, she still went off the high dive again. We went back to our normal routine and my Mom said "Don't let go when you climb the ladder." She didn't. At least not for a while. Neither did the rest of us for a while, because we had seen what happened. Of course as a kid there comes a time when you do it again to see if the same thing will happen. I never ever did it in front of my sister though.
My Mom and Dad made the decision that the pool, both before and after the high dive fall, was a safe place for their kids. Like all environments, and I mean all environments, it comes with hazards that you need to be aware of. Should they have stood over my sister as she climbed the ladder to the high dive? Should they have forbidden her to use the high dive even while all the other kids were using it? They made the choice that this was a one off incident. Also, they know that my sister has a bit of a daredevil gene and that they wouldn't be able to protect her from everything. On our recent trip to Hawaii she was racing down steep mountain roads at top speeds on her bike. She's jumped out of an airplane. She likes to ski fast.
All through our childhood my parents encouraged us to try stuff, physically and mentally. They didn't want us to get hurt, but they also knew that some of the stuff we did had an element of risk. They let us do it anyway. I personally think they made good choices. From swimming in the ocean, to skiing in the mountains we learned how to handle ourselves and to know when we were taking on too much risk. That's a choice our parents made for us. I'm glad they did. Different people might have made different choices and everything would have turned out just as well for them.
I think the first time my sister started up the ladder to the high dive after her fall my Mom was close by, but not right next to her. My Dad was watching from a distance. After she made it up without falling our lives went back to normal. Would it have been better if she hadn't fallen? Maybe, but maybe not. No one wants their child to get hurt ever, but they do. So, we make choices about what kids can and can't do and how much hovering we'll do as they go about their business. We put helmets on their little heads when they ski and bike. We make them wear shinguards when they play soccer and helmets and padding when they play hockey. We try to teach them funny comebacks if they get teased or bullied at school. We help them with their homework so they have a better chance at succeeding. We don't drive the car until everyone has their seatbelt on.
We make considered choices all the time about the activities kids get to pursue and there are real consequences. As we make these choices, the kids are watching and learning because they're making choices too. My sister did not stop doing stuff after she fell off the high dive. Two days after Christmas this year she climbed into a wind tunnel to do indoor sky diving and had a big grin on her face the entire time.
Every single day we make hundreds of choices. I will try not to run down a bunch of rabbit holes that make your head swirl as I write, but instead, I want people to think about what every choice means and whether or not you can live with the consequences of those choices. What does a choice mean to you? Why are you choosing what you're choosing? Does the choice you're making bring value to your life? What would happen if you made a different choice? What would happen if you couldn't get your first choice?
Years ago I read the following: Make your decision and then live your life like you had no other choice. It's about not having regrets, or looking back. However, sometimes we make a choice that turns out badly and it's good to look back to try and figure out where we went wrong. Maybe we'll conclude that given the same set of circumstances we'd make exactly the same choice again. It never hurts to have a 'debrief'. What you want to make sure to do is learn and grow and keep moving forward.
When I was little my parents would take us over to the Columbia Swim Center in the evenings. Unlike today's Splashdown, we had a high dive to climb up and jump off. I was eight and my sister was five and we loved going off the high dive. On my way up the ladder I'd stop and let go to show off my bravery. My sister wanted to show how brave she was too - and she slipped and fell hard on to the concrete below, cracking her skull. I was a little kid of course, but I knew my sister liked to copy me. Younger siblings are doing everything they can to keep up with older siblings. I knew she'd try to do everything I did. I didn't know she'd slip and fall. She and my Mom went off to the hospital in the ambulance and my Dad followed in the car. No, they didn't leave me alone at the pool, a neighbor watched out for me while they looked after my sister. In case you're wondering, she's fine. She grew up and is having a very good life.
Okay, so while today's parents are freaking out over this story, I'll fill in some more details. Where were my Mom and Dad? Why weren't they hovering over us like today's parents making sure we didn't fall off the high dive? This was 1973 and kids were given a lot more space then. All of the parents were swimming laps or chatting at the other end of the pool. All of the kids were swimming in the deep end of the pool and jumping off the diving boards. There was a lifeguard sitting in the stand.
In 1973 Columbia was a small town. Nearly everyone we knew was on swim team, including our parents. My sister was a "Mini-Might!" - the name of the group of kids in the 5-6 yr age group. All of us went to swim practice multiple times per week and all of us were excellent swimmers. Jumping off the high dive was part of regular practice for the younger kids. We did it all the time with no incidents. My sister is athletic - she was jumping in to the pool and swimming by age two. My Mom tells a story of her standing on the edge of the pool saying "'mere Daddy" and signaling to my Dad to come over because she was jumping in. Sometimes she would say it and leap before my Dad was ready and he'd have to quickly move to her. As a Mini-Might she swam quite a distance without taking a breath. She hadn't gotten the breathing part down yet. That happens with a lot of kids.
My Dad heard my sister fall off the high dive. She didn't scream, but he heard the thunk as her head hit the pavement and he knew it was his little girl. He said he felt it in his heart. He was in the pool at the time, at the other end in a lap lane. He leaped up and ran. So did the lifeguard, my Mom and a lot of adults. It happened really quickly. As I said before, my sister had cracked her skull and had a minor concussion. She missed a day or two of school. After all of this, she still went off the high dive again. We went back to our normal routine and my Mom said "Don't let go when you climb the ladder." She didn't. At least not for a while. Neither did the rest of us for a while, because we had seen what happened. Of course as a kid there comes a time when you do it again to see if the same thing will happen. I never ever did it in front of my sister though.
My Mom and Dad made the decision that the pool, both before and after the high dive fall, was a safe place for their kids. Like all environments, and I mean all environments, it comes with hazards that you need to be aware of. Should they have stood over my sister as she climbed the ladder to the high dive? Should they have forbidden her to use the high dive even while all the other kids were using it? They made the choice that this was a one off incident. Also, they know that my sister has a bit of a daredevil gene and that they wouldn't be able to protect her from everything. On our recent trip to Hawaii she was racing down steep mountain roads at top speeds on her bike. She's jumped out of an airplane. She likes to ski fast.
All through our childhood my parents encouraged us to try stuff, physically and mentally. They didn't want us to get hurt, but they also knew that some of the stuff we did had an element of risk. They let us do it anyway. I personally think they made good choices. From swimming in the ocean, to skiing in the mountains we learned how to handle ourselves and to know when we were taking on too much risk. That's a choice our parents made for us. I'm glad they did. Different people might have made different choices and everything would have turned out just as well for them.
I think the first time my sister started up the ladder to the high dive after her fall my Mom was close by, but not right next to her. My Dad was watching from a distance. After she made it up without falling our lives went back to normal. Would it have been better if she hadn't fallen? Maybe, but maybe not. No one wants their child to get hurt ever, but they do. So, we make choices about what kids can and can't do and how much hovering we'll do as they go about their business. We put helmets on their little heads when they ski and bike. We make them wear shinguards when they play soccer and helmets and padding when they play hockey. We try to teach them funny comebacks if they get teased or bullied at school. We help them with their homework so they have a better chance at succeeding. We don't drive the car until everyone has their seatbelt on.
We make considered choices all the time about the activities kids get to pursue and there are real consequences. As we make these choices, the kids are watching and learning because they're making choices too. My sister did not stop doing stuff after she fell off the high dive. Two days after Christmas this year she climbed into a wind tunnel to do indoor sky diving and had a big grin on her face the entire time.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Denial Done...Moving on to Anger
I've noticed that we Democrats are following the five stages of grief after the Great Tragedy - which is how I'll refer to the election of 2016. We're progressing very quickly though as it's only been a week and we're already in Anger. We were only in Denial for a brief amount of time and I'll note that it came with a a heavy dose of Depression.
We are all looking for a single thing to blame for what happened last week and as I pointed out in my previous post, I think there's a LOT going on here. There is no one answer to this problem, Like the Democrat party itself, it's a mixed bag.
Here's what worries me right now that just like Republicans in 2008 and 2012 who were working on being introspective and fixing things for themselves, that we Democrats are sitting in our ivory towers and deciding what we need to do without actually listening or talking to the folks who we want to vote for us.
I think a key to a strong resurgence of a party who looks out for EVERYONE, is listening and talking to folks. That has to start at the local level. I think it's a good time for each city, county, and state to turn inward and figure out what we need to do for our local folks. We need to win local elections and state offices in two years. That's grass roots.
If we know what's happening in our own states I think the next time out our national candidate is going to pay attention. At least, that's what I'm hoping if we don't fall victim to Ivory Tower thinking.
Pay attention too when at long last the press is finally asking Trump supporters why they voted the way they did and their expectations. They don't expect Trump to keep all his promises, and they're okay with a flawed candidate, clearly. We, Democrats don't need to worry about being perfect. That is the best news ever as we go forward.
Does this sound like Bargaining? It did to me too.
We are all looking for a single thing to blame for what happened last week and as I pointed out in my previous post, I think there's a LOT going on here. There is no one answer to this problem, Like the Democrat party itself, it's a mixed bag.
Here's what worries me right now that just like Republicans in 2008 and 2012 who were working on being introspective and fixing things for themselves, that we Democrats are sitting in our ivory towers and deciding what we need to do without actually listening or talking to the folks who we want to vote for us.
I think a key to a strong resurgence of a party who looks out for EVERYONE, is listening and talking to folks. That has to start at the local level. I think it's a good time for each city, county, and state to turn inward and figure out what we need to do for our local folks. We need to win local elections and state offices in two years. That's grass roots.
If we know what's happening in our own states I think the next time out our national candidate is going to pay attention. At least, that's what I'm hoping if we don't fall victim to Ivory Tower thinking.
Pay attention too when at long last the press is finally asking Trump supporters why they voted the way they did and their expectations. They don't expect Trump to keep all his promises, and they're okay with a flawed candidate, clearly. We, Democrats don't need to worry about being perfect. That is the best news ever as we go forward.
Does this sound like Bargaining? It did to me too.
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